This is our life

Good News and Not So Good News

2009-11-12T00:00:00.003-06:00

Yes this is another medical update......

Landry is doing great - therapy has worked wonders for her. She really is a different child than she was a few months ago. Her PT said that she is an "ideal patient" and so fun to work with because she is responding so quickly to all of the therapy. Isn't it nice to be ideal! We are just so happy to see that all of the time, effort and money have been paying off. It truly is amazing and an answer to many prayers - Thank you God!!!

Landry was doing so well that I asked our pediatrician if we still needed to see the neurologist. He said he wanted me to keep the appointment that was just two days away and felt Landry still needed to be evaluated, even though we were seeing such great progress. In that moment my spirit was overcome with a knowing that we were about to revisit a place I did not want to go back to.

Six and a half years ago Matthew had a nasty playground collision with Blaine, the fastest kid in first grade. He got a big ol' concussion that required a trip to the ER and CT scan. The results showed that his brain was healing nicely from the concussion BUT it also revealed a tumor. I still remember how scared Pat and I were when we heard those words. My hands are shaking now just thinking about the emotions we felt that day.

After many doctors appointments, MRI's, blood work, etc. the conclusion was made that his tumor is most likely a lipoma. I say most likely because they can only be certain if they do a biopsy or remove it. Neither of which were good options because of the location in his head right behind his optic nerve. Anyway, if you are going to have a brain tumor, the lipoma is the one you want. It is filled with a fatty substance which does not put as much pressure on the surrounding brain tissue and may never cause any problems. Matthew is fine and has not had any symptoms or problems. Because of the location the neurosurgeon decided that after 4 years of yearly MRI's we were safe to monitor it was an in depth yearly eye exam. At the first sign of any visual disturbance Matthew will get another MRI to check on his "piece of fat" as we sometimes lovingly refer to his lipoma. It is kinda comforting to know that the bad location(surgery wise) is actually good when it comes to monitoring it.

Back to Landry.... The neuro we took her to see specializes in muscle and movement disorders. He thought her muscle tone looked really good compared to all of her initial evaluations. YEA! He does want to follow her progress for a while so we will go back in six months for a follow up evaluation. He ordered an MRI because two of her complex coordination issues including the swallowing disorder come from the same part of the brain. He didn't expect to find any problems but wanted to be sure.

The doctor told us we should expect to hear from his nurse with the MRI results within 2-3 days. I called on day 4 but they were already closed for the weekend. I called again on day 6 and finally the nurse called me back yesterday, which was a full week after the MRI. Seven days of waiting was hard. I love how God just kept me so busy that I did not have time to really dwell on it. I'd be telling stories if I didn't say that a few times "anxiousness" didn't try to set up camp in my heart and mind.

The good news is they did not find any "structural" abnormalities in the region of the brain that control the issues the doctor was checking out. This means the hypotonia is most likely the issue and that it is not being caused by some other underlying issue. The therapy she has responded so well to should stick so to speak and we should not expect to see any backsliding.

The not so good news, and the news I was somewhat expecting, was that they found something else. Landry has a cyst like tumor at the tip of her brain by or on (I'm a little fuzzy on the exact location) the Pituitary gland. It is rare which is why it took so long for us to get the MRI results - they had some extra sets of eyes look at her films. I was told that it may never cause a problem or that it could rear its ugly head sometime in the future. I was told that there is no need for surgery or even for any specific followup at this point. If symptoms show up then we should get it checked out. The symptoms could be widespread from headaches to visual problems to hormonal issues due to the proximity to the Pituitary gland.

I am trying to cling to the "it may never cause an issue" portion and I am thankful for so much. I am so well aware that we could have received much more devastating news but right now I just feel icky about the whole thing. I don't like it one bit. I don't know what to do with the information. Why did God help reveal these crazy tumors in Matthew and Landry? Do we need to know for some reason. Will they never cause an issue? I know God wants me to trust him with this and I am really trying and I will get there. Does trusting him mean forgetting that they have these? I like to rationalize and I like to know the reasons things happen. I know there are so many things that we will not understand this side of heaven but I really do want to know why about this. Even though I am feeling icky right now, in this moment, I am so very grateful that I serve a God who loves me and totally understands me and my need to rationalize.

Second to Last First Day

2009-08-24T23:42:00.005-05:00

All three of my kids went back to school today. I have one in high school, one in middle school, none in intermediate school, none in elementary school and one in the young toddler room at preschool. It is really daycare but it makes me feel better to call it school and since it is my blog I will call it school here too.

All three - ready for school. I think this is the first time I have gotten a picture where all three of my peeps are looking at the camera and smiling.

I thought I would be misty-eyed dropping the baby off at school this morning but I had a 'moment' while driving Nicole to school. We were almost to her school when it dawned on me that this was her second to last first day of school and very likely the last time I would be taking her to her first day of school. How crazy is that. I remember taking her to her first day of kindergarten dressed in a cute pair of yellow skort overalls with flowers and a big white hair bow. I took her picture at home, in front of the school, with her teacher and at her desk. That has been exchanged for a low-key outfit with shiny black boat shoes, a brown lunch bag thrown into a big purse and a couple of quick pictures taken at home. And now I have just one more 1st day of school picture to take of my Nicole. Gasp!

Here is my no so little man, Matthew, looking a wee-bit anxious about his first day at the middle school. His mama is worried about Wednesday, the first day the boys in athletics have to shower before going to class after early morning football practice. Oh, the horror of being a boy.

I should have taken an "after" picture of Landry; she looked a little dis-shelved after her day at school. She napped on a cute little cot and enjoyed sitting in the little chairs at the table. She ate her snacks and her lunch but she only drank a few sips of water and milk. Needless to say, when we got home she was a bit parched and downed a cup of milk and a cup and a half of water while consuming a large number of goldfish. She then proceeded to have not 1 but 2 blowout diapers in the span of 2 hours. The second blowout happened at Target on the school supply aisle. I didn't realize how bad it was until Matthew got her out of the cart and said that he had poop all over his arm...YUCK and the baby had poop up to her neck...even YUCKIER! Why is it that these things only happen when you do not have a change of clothes? I was so thankful that I had just replenished the wipes in my Diapees&Wipees container.

Can you believe that such nastiness would come out of someone with such a sweet face?

Answers and more questions

2009-08-04T22:45:00.003-05:00

Over the past several weeks we have been getting answers for some of Landry's little issues but come to find out all of these answers have led to more questions.

I have had concerns about Landry's development for a while. At first they were written off as delays due to her prematurity and struggles with respiratory issues at birth. I was fine with that. At her 9 month check-up our pediatrician told me it was time to be slightly concerned and by 10 months we were taking action. At first we had evaluations through our state's Early Childhood Intervention program (ECI). These evals showed a big ol' speech delay, sensory issues and a misbehaving eye that was not tracking in line with the other.

ECI began providing Occupational Therapy(OT) right away, had a child development specialist working with Landry on some speech and basic development but the Speech Therapist could not seem to get us on her schedule. I was really frustrated by this at the time but now I see it as a huge blessing.......more on this later. Landry's eyes were evaluated by a Pediatric Opthamologist who determined that the misbehaving eye was due to a muscle issue but it was not severe enough to do anything other than watch and re-evaluate in a year. I was relieved.

At Landry's 12 month check up her doctor was upset to hear that ECI had not started any speech therapy and he referred us to a private speech therapist. My longtime good friend Linda works at the therapy place in town and managed to get us to the top of a 4 page waiting list and placed Landry with Sheila who she said is great with babies. She was right, Sheila is wonderful with Landry and has been such a huge blessing!!! Sheila determined that Landry's speech issues were due in part to a super tight tongue and oral-motor muscle issues. She spoke with Landry's pediatrician about some of the issues she was seeing and we ultimately had her tongue clipped, a Physical Therapy Eval done and a video swallow study done. The PT eval show low muscle tone. I was a wee bit worried. The swallow study gave us answers about her daily choking habit - the girl seriously chokes so often that she is now patting herself on the back when she chokes. She was diagnosed with moderate Dyphagia and I was told that it is a muscle issue. Sheila came with Landry & I to the swallow study and explained everything that was going on - delayed swallowing, pooling, penetration of liquids into her airway without a hint of choking sounds. Afterwards she told me that they see Dysphagia a lot in kids with low tone and that it could contribute to asthma. Landry is now labeled as being at "high-risk" for choking and has to drink thickened liquids which is really nasty. She starts a 15 session therapy called Vital Stim this week. I was relieved because we had an answer and a plan and I love having a plan!

Landry had her 15 month check up today and I was looking forward to talking to Dr. B., our pediatrician, about the Vital Stim therapy and asking for his blessing to not thicken her liquids (she hates thickened water, who wouldn't & refuses to drink it unless she is on the brink of dying of thirst!) I was not prepared to hear him say I was going to call you last week but since you were scheduled to come in today I decided this was a better conversation to have in person. I am a little slow at times and I was thinking why would he call to talk to us about Vital Stim and thickened liquids, what a great doctor. He is but that is not what he was going to call about. He said that all of these things that have presented themselves (other than the food allergies) are related and that Landry has Hypotonia and needs to see a Neurologist. I was shocked. I almost dropped Landry but instead I managed to scrape her naked side with my wedding ring and she started screaming. Nice. Now I was trying to calm a baby and think of something intelligible to say.

Dr. B. does not necessarily think that in Landry's case it is caused by a metabolic condition but said the neurologist may decide to do some testing to determine the cause. So, I thought we had everything figured out but not so much. I know I am all over the place but for some reason that I can't explain I was somewhat ok saying that she had low tone but the term Hypotonia has me a little freaked out. I wasn't happy with it when I heard it, but when I googled it I really wasn't happy. Much of what I read rang true - GERD, breast feeding issues, Dysphagia, eye-muscle issues, a baby who observes other kids playing but is slow to try, sensory issues, little babies who hate tummy time and the list could go on. I think Landry falls on the milder side of the spectrum but since my medical degree is from watching episodes of ER and Grey's I should probably wait and see what the dr. says. Although I am a bit overwhelmed right now, I know that these are issues we can work through.

I am so thankful for all of the ways God has had his hand in this situation - my new job with great flexibility & health insurance, wonderful therapists & doctors, an ECI Speech Therapist who couldn't seem to get to us which led us to Sheila, answers even if they led to more questions and most of all peace.

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Hello!

2009-07-27T00:11:00.006-05:00

Hello…..

I have been away for a while. Life has been busy. I’ve had much to share but little time to do it in and other things to share that I have not quite been able to put into words.

I think I will give a little run down of what has been going on with everyone.

Pat-
Pat spent about every single weekend from the end of May - July 4th with Nicole at softball tournaments. They have been off for the past few weekends and it has been nice seeing him again. He is headed to Michigan at the end of August for a much anticipated and deserved golf trip with his brother and 2 good friends. While I was pregnant with Landry, Pat kept on saying that he would need a vacation once she was born and he is finally collecting. For some reason his weekend in Shreveport with his Fantasy Football league last August did not count. They are planning to play something like 90 holes of Golf in 4 days - I think he will need a vacation from his vacation!

Me-

I started a new job in May....don’t be jealous; I get to work from home! Although my job is very demanding and I have been working a lot of crazy hours to meet deadlines, I thank God for this job, the health benefits that came with it and the flexibility working from home has given me.

Nicole –
We surprised Nicole with a car for her 16th birthday back in June. We spent many nights and weekends shopping for the car and have a few crazy stories to share about that experience but I could not blog about it because Nicole reads my blog and then the surprise would have been ruined! Anyway, we found a “previously loved” Santa Fe and Nicole loves it. She was so surprised and we enjoyed exceeding her dreams!

Nicole’s 16th birthday celebration consisted of a surprise family birthday party at Babe's famous and old Chicken House, a birthday party with her friends at our house, a fabulous trip to New York City with her Aunt Linda and a weekend of shopping and fun with Aunt Amy and Uncle Ted. I will try to get her to do a “guest” post about her trip to New York so for now I will just say; they had an amazing time and were completely worn out when they got home.

Other than the never-ending birthday extravaganza, Nicole has had a ton of softball tournaments, a busy social life, a job babysitting her sister and spending time with boyfriend. Yes, a boyfriend. He is a very nice and they were good friends for nearly 2 years before they began dating.

Matthew-
Matthew enjoyed helping us shop for Nicole’s car. In fact it was Matthew, Landry and I who bought the car while Pat was with Nicole at a softball tournament. He was a fantastic help and was in charge of finding out what did and did not work and was an authority on what his sister would and would not like. We have all decided that Matthew is the best secret keeper in the world!!!

At the end of June, Matthew, Landry and I made a quick weekend trip to Tulsa to celebrate all of the summer birthdays. We had a great weekend and Matthew stayed in Oklahoma for the week with his cousin Megan. He has had a pretty low-key summer so far and he is looking forward to turning 13 this week, going to football camp in 2 weeks and church camp in 3 weeks. Now that he is officially a 7th grader he gets to start going to youth group at church with Nicole.

Landry –
Our sweet little girl took her first steps the day she was 14 months old and now she is nearly walking like a pro! Her hair has grown like crazy and has the cutest little curls in the back. She has transformed from a baby into a toddler and it happened literally overnight. She loves to go outside, play with balls and get into the Tupperware cabinet.

Landry was tongue tied and had her tongue clipped in June. She had to be put under and got four stitches to correct what her Speech Pathologist called the tightest tongue she had ever seen. She was all smiles before surgery and on the way home she fought to keep her eyes open. Once home she slept for 2 hours then cried for 7 hours. The next day it was all good. On the way out, the nurse gave her a little stuffed dog - a consolation prize of sorts - you came in here happy and feeling good and now you feel yucky, so here's a stuffed dog. Anyway, the dog has become a favorite and sleeps with her. After 3 weeks of speech and at home oral-motor exercises Landry finally stuck her tongue out. It's the cutest thing ever but I have not been able to capture it on film! More importantly, she is making sounds that she was previously physically incapable of making.

It's late so I will have to share the rest of what is going on with Landry in a separate post.

Sweet Sixteen

2009-06-15T13:18:00.004-05:00

My first baby is turning 16 today. I can't believe it. Where has the time gone? I remember her birth so clearly, like it was just yesterday. The overwhelming love I had for her on her "birth" day has grown even stronger during our 16 years together.

I want to honor's Nicole's special day by sharing 16 things I love about her.

I love her for herself.
I love Nicole's heart for God.
I love her love for her sister and brother. I know at times she get annoyed with each of them but she really does love them with her whole heart.
I love Nicole's smile - it brightens a room and my heart!
I love her sense of humor - she is so stinkin' funny!
I love that even when things are not happy in her world, like when she was target practice for a wayward scorpion, she still cracks jokes.
I love her height and that she shares it with me! She will reach things from the top shelf for me.
I love her competitive spirit.
I love her eyes - they are so beautiful and share so much.
I love Nicole's heart for others - she is so caring and compassionate.
I love her natural born leadership abilities.
I love her honesty and sense of right and wrong.
I love talking to her.
I love Nicole's sensitivity.
I love her personal safety concerns.
I love her hair - the girl has some beautiful super thick, shinny hair!

I would say that I love her texting ability but, I think I am more impressed by her skill and speed than actually loving it.

To my sweet sixteen year old daughter,

Dad and I love you so very much! We are so proud of the young woman you have grown up to be. Although we would like to keep you little forever, we also look forward to seeing what God has in store for your future. Remember to always keep your eyes and heart focused on the Lord.

The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your needs... Isaiah 58:1

I am so grateful that God chose me to be your mom.

There are screams and then there is this scream

2009-06-08T20:25:00.002-05:00

Never in my life have I heard such a scream as I did in the wee hours of last Friday morning. I don't think I will ever forget it. It was the kind of scream that grabs your attention and demands action before you can even crack an eye to peer at the clock. Just thinking about the scream and describing it is making my heart beat a little harder.

Pat and I could not get our bedroom door open fast enough. I did not even have time to think about what or who we would find on the other side. It didn't matter. Pat was sure that we would find some crazed man with a chain saw chopping up our children. I do remember Pat saying, "Hurry - Go" as he pushed himself out of our room in front of me. And some say chivalry is dead. Not in my house, thank you very much!

We found Nicole sitting on the kitchen island. Screaming and inconsolable. Her limbs were all still attached and there was no man with a chain saw. No pools of blood. Thank you Jesus.

Just as I was wondering if all the screaming was due to her witnessing her brother's murder, Matthew showed up. Thank you Jesus.

The first discernible word we heard was "scorpion". WHAT??? She finally managed to get out that it was in her bed and had stung her, multiple times

Not being a native Texan, I do not know the proper first aid for scorpion stings but that did not stop me from coming up with a course of treatment. I decided that she should rinse her legs in cold water. Not sure where that idea came from but, we decided to go with it. Pat got ice. I guess our not so thought out middle of the night logic was to freeze the pain away.

Pat went to investigate her bed for the alleged offender because that is definitely a mans job, while I tried to convince Nicole that cutting off her toe would not solve her pain problem. Pat found the offending scorpion killed it then flushed it down the toilet for good measure.

One time on an episode of Texas Walker Ranger some bad guys tried to kill a man with scorpions, so I was somewhat concerned that my oldest child would expire on the kitchen counter with her legs in the sink. I googled scorpion sting first aid while Pat tried to console a still screaming and shaking Nicole. I was thrilled to find out that we were on the right track with ice and water. My medical degree from watching Greys Anatomy, ER & other medical shows sure does come in handy at times! In case you are wondering or ever in this predicament, you should also wash the affected area with soap, elevate any affected limbs and apply ice with pressure.

We called the "Ask a Nurse" number that our insurance company provides and she told us to take Nicole to the ER. I really think that is their answer to everything. Nonetheless, we decided to err on the side of caution and took her to our favorite ER. It had been a while since Nicole had made a trip to the ER and it really seemed like a good way to kick off summer break. Good news, she lived and did not get a shot but the bad news is that she is terrified to sleep in her room.

This evening a local pest control company spent 2 hours treating our house and yard for every type of creepy crawly critter. We are praying that it will help all of us sleep better tonight.

Rainy Day Blues

2009-05-17T16:46:00.005-05:00

Saturday was one of those dreary all day rain events and by 1PM I think the entire family was suffering from the rainy day blues. The house had been cleaned and a few little odd jobs that needed to be done had been marked off of the list. Summer softball tournaments are about to begin and this was our last weekend with out a tournament for about the next 6-8 weeks so we hated to sit around and do nothing at all.

On Friday, before I knew it was going to rain, I thought we'd take the kids to the zoo. Matthew had designs on going to a Ranger game. Unfortunately neither one was appropriate for a day with near constant rain.

By 1 o'clock on Saturday we were all like.....ok, what are we goign to do today. Pat suggested any one of several museums in the area to which Nicole declared, "We are not museum people!" What!!!!! Does she not remember us taking her to numerous museums over the course of her life. Heck, we just went to the LBJ library in march. I think that counts as a museum.

I threw out the idea of doing a craft project and was surprised when Nicole & Matthew both said that it sounded fun. Off to Michael's we went in search for stuff to make. Nicole and I decided to make a bow holder for Landry's growing hair bow collection. We also found a cute wood frame for her to paint. Matthew picked a wooden tank that he could build and paint. He decided that Pat would like to build and paint a wooden fighter jet.

We had a great time sitting around the table building and painting together. We might not be the most artsy people but we had fun.

Here is a picture of the work in progress.....

The final products.....

In case you are wondering.....while we we all being creative, Landry sat in her highchair eating a snack and drinking 2 beverages. She likes to be well hydrated just like her big sister! After her snack she crawled & cruised around the table checking on our progress.

Knobs and trees

2009-05-15T16:47:00.003-05:00

I have been suffering from new house fever for a few months. I don't really know why I want a new house. Moving is a pain. The housing market is stinky. My house is nice, beautiful in fact and my back yard is really fabulous. God has really blessed us in this regard. In spite of this, I have still been yearning for a new place to call home.

This desire to move may be due in part to living in the same house for 6 years and not yet being done with the decorating. I will confess to still having a temporary paper shade hanging in the master bedroom dooor that goes to the backyard. The kind that you use for a week or two until your blinds arrive.......I have been using for six years! I can't believe I just told on my self! I have not hung curtains in most rooms and have not even attempted to decorate the game room that I had big plans for when we moved in. The list could go on and on and on.

Instead of getting a new house I got hardware for my cabinents and trees for the backyard!

My sweet husband and son installed knobs and pulls on each and every cabinent and drawer in the house. Let me just say it was not a small job - they installed 142 pieces. My guys did an outstanding job and now my cabinentry looks finished!!!

Trees for the backyard had been on our wish list since we moved into our house. We intended to plant them the first year we moved in but somehow we just never got around to it. Earlier this spring we happened upon some fabulous maple trees at Lowes. We borrowed a neighbors pick up truck and hauled them home where we struggled to get them out of the truck and into the backyard. Pat, Nicole and Matthew practically had to dig to China in order to plant the biggest tree. Thank God Nicole is freakishly strong!

Oh the places you will go

2009-05-07T10:10:00.005-05:00

Guess who figured out how to pull her self up with out assistance?

I'll give you a little hint.......

It is the same girl who 2 days later began seriously cruising and then figured out how to cruise between different pieces of furniture. It is also the same girl who after 3 months of us signing "more" and "eat" began signing back.

It is this girl!

She learned all of these new tricks just in time to show off to her Occupational Therapist and her Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) Case Manager at this weeks appointment. It is a huge step (literally) and she is so proud of herself and I was a proud mom having her show off! It was really cool to see months of work finally come together.

Sweet little girl I am so excited to see all of the places that you are going to go. I can only imagine the places God has in store for you and I am eager to see your story unfold. For now, I am happy to see you go between the couch and the coffee table!

I love Cupcakes!

2009-04-30T15:56:00.009-05:00

I can hardly believe how fast Landry's first year has flown by. Of course I knew it would - Nicole has turned into an almost 16 year old in the blink of an eye and Matthew is knocking on the door of 13. Holy smokes, I shouldn't have blinked!!! There are days when it seems Landry has always been a part of our family and days when I think "Wow, we really do have a baby!" Most of all I am amazed at the gift she is in our lives. Thank you sweet Jesus for Landry.

Because I will forget if I don't write it down, I am going to share some of the things Landry is doing at 12 months.

Landry weighs 24 pounds which is almost 4x her birth weight and lands her in the 95th percentile. She is 30 inches long - 90th percentile. She is a good little (ok not so little) grower!

Her smile brightens her entire face and of course melts my heart just like Nicole and Matthew's smiles do.

Landry began drinking whole milk just yesterday and seems fine with the transition.
She loves the bottle and will only drink water from her sippy cup. She does not like juice very much which is ok with me. We will work on saying bye-bye to the bottle in a few weeks.

Landry loves chicken, green beans, peas, carrots and applesauce. Chick-fil-a makes her favorite chicken nugget, just in case you were wondering! Landry will not eat any fruit other than applesauce. She will put it in her mouth and take a chew or two then spit it right back out. I guess it must be a texture thing or perhaps just poor table manners.

Landry is a great crawler and can zip and zoom all over the house. She is kinda a noisy crawler so it is hard for her to sneak up on anyone! She is really smart and will use her mouth to hold a toy if she wants to take it with her.

Landry loves to go outside & will scream in delight when you take her outside! It is so cute to see the excitement in her face and hear it in her voice.

Landry loves books, music, toys. She loves to clap her hands or toys together.

Landry does not say any words but we are working on it. She makes 4 sounds: da, shhh, ba and her newest sound is ma. I just know a "mama" is in our near future!

Landry loves taking a bath but hates to actually be washed off and really hates to have the shampoo rinsed out of her hair. It might be more accurately said that Landry likes to play in the water.

Landry is working on pulling up. She has done it once or twice without help but most of the time we have to give her little hiney a little lift to encourage and help her stand up. She is afraid of letting go to sit back down.

Landry has 8 teeth and occasionally chomps on a finger or shoulder - so you better watch out!

Landry loves to take her toys out of their storage baskets and throw the books off of the shelf. It is my job to pick them back up several times during the day so she can do it again and again. She also likes to fling clothes and towels out of the laundry basket. She is such a good little helper like that.

Speaking of helping....she likes to turn the light switch off when we leave her room. She seriously gets upset if we don't stop at the light switch each and every time we leave her room even if the light is not on.

We had a great first birthday party with all of our extended family except for my sister Kim and her crew. We missed having them here to celebrate but are excited that they were home taking care of their new addition Cash Daniel Bevins who was born on April 21st!

We had a cupcaked themed party for our little cupcake! Landry's shirt, bib, plates, napkins and balloons were all adorned with cupcakes! So of course I had to serve pretty pink cupakes. Although Landry was not so sure about her cupcake at first, she enjoyed eating it & playing with it.

Surprise!

2009-04-28T05:49:00.007-05:00

My husband is so sneaky and wonderful!

This was my year to turn the big 40. I have to admit is is kinda freaking me out to type that number!

Last year my birthday was spent in the hospital. The day before my 39th birthday, Pat's whole family came to the hospital for a birthday dinner in the hospital cafeteria and my doctor let me leave my room so I could eat with them. How nice of him. I guess it was too much excitement (or sitting up) for me. I woke up the next morning, my actual birthday, thinking I would be having a baby because I was having contractions 2 minutes apart. I proceeded to be a pin cushion and shot full of terbutaline for the rest of the day. Not such a great way to spend your birthday.

These pictures are from our family celebration the day before my birthday last year. I found one picture that was taken of me on my actual birthday but it will not be shared with the world cause it is really scary! My friend Russell who saw me on my b'day last year said to me, "Ya know, you look a whole lot better this birthday than you did last year!" Thank you Russell! I am scared for him and worry a bit that he remembers how bad I looked.

Earlier in the year, my husband asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday and I told him that I did not want a party or anything big. I was just happy to be at home with my family.

After a little thinking, I told him what I really wanted was to go shopping in Canton for the day and it would be really cool if he just gave me shopping money. If you have never been shopping in Canton you really need to go. So fun! Anyway, I went to Canton and my sweet hubby gave me an envelope full of shopping money!!! I had a super fun girls day.

Birthday celebration over, right? Nope.

The next day he invited friends over for lunch after church and we had a small little birthday celebration. I really thought my birthday celebration was over but it wasn't.

On Monday, my sweet man cooked a wonderful birthday dinner and we had Carvel ice cream cake (so yummy)! He and the kids then gave me a present - this pretty pink Coach purse that I had been drooling over when we were shopping together on spring break!

So seriously my birthday celebration had to be officially over! Again, I was wrong.

This Saturday night, a mere 3 weeks after my birthday, my husband pulled off a surprise party for me. It is not an easy feat to surprise me. As a kid I kept my mom on her toes because I could sniff out her present hiding places like no other! Anyway, there were all sorts of little wierd things that I noticed but they were easily explained away because we were getting ready for Landry's first birthday party the next day. To say I was shocked was an understatement. As everyone yelled "Surprise! Happy Birthday!" I was like, "For me?" For a few seconds, I seriously wondered why there was a surprise birthday party for a 1 year old. It was so much fun - what a great evening! I would post some pictures but I was in shock and was too busy visiting to take any. My sister-in-law, Amy, was the official party photographer so when she sends me some I will share them.

What a great month of birthday celebrating it has been. Thank you for making me feel so loved and special!

Bluebonnets

2009-04-21T08:04:00.009-05:00

Taking pictures in a field of bluebonnets is a springtime ritual of sorts here in Texas. When I graduated from college and moved here my sisters and I just couldn't help ourselves and we joined in the masses of people stopping on the side of the highway to romp through a steep embankment blanketed with this Texas wild flower and took pictures. Being the cautious sort that we are we actually didn't stop on the side of the highway......we stopped on the side of the access road. Much safer!

My sister, Kim (on the right) & I in a field of bluebonnets in 1992. I am super impressed with myself for 2 reasons. 1) I was able to find this picture and 2) I was able to figure out how to scan it into my computer! Impressive, huh?

Nicole really wanted me to take pictures of the baby in the bluebonnets. I wanted her to join in but she oh so politely declined.

After Landry's appointment at the eye doctor (which by the way went really well), I stopped at a nearby field of bluebonnets a friend told me about. It was a beautiful sunny day and a beautiful field of flowers. My sweet girl was not so happy. For her it was a bit of a traumatic experience. She did not like the feeling of the flowers on her legs and feet. She did not like the bright sun. I might be wrong, but I think it may have had something to do with her still dilated eyes!

In spite of Landry's behavior I was determined to snap a few photos. In the 5 minutes we were there I think I managed to get a few cute pics and a few that totally captured her displeasure, like the one below!

Picking a bluebonnet......breaking the law!

Tasting one end.........

Tasting the other end!

I love black & white photos.....

By the way.....I figured out how to add a signature now if I can only figure out how to remove the line around it!

It's about time!

2009-04-18T08:24:00.008-05:00

Hey guys do you like my face lift?

My brother and sister-in-law were over last night and we got to talking about blogs. I teased them that they were becoming professional bloggers with their super cute background and all. Elizabeth told me it was pretty easy to do with The cutest Blog on the Block site. When a certain daughter woke me up at 6:30 this morning, I thought it was about time I gave it a try.

2 hours later I have a new look and I have to say I really like it!

Because I am a bit of a perfectionist, I would like to figure out how to change the pink color of my blog titles to match the pink in my new background.

and

I would also absolutely love to add a signature. I read about how to do it but it was a bit more than my brain could handle without caffeine.

I think I'll give a shout out to Amanda for some help with this......oh, Amanda, can you help me?

It is hard for me to post without including a picture, so I'll share this one of my happy girl trying out her big girl car seat that arrived yesterday. Isn't she just too cute!!!

I have to say I love, love this Graco Nautilus car seat. It is for babies who are 12 months & 20 pounds and up (we are going to cheat for a week!) and it will convert to a high back booster seat and then a backless booster seat for kiddos up to 100 lbs. I love that it has a cup holder in the front where Landry can reach. I have absolutely no expectation that she will be able to actually put her sippy cup back in the cup holder but hey, it can start out there!

Easter 2009

2009-04-13T08:11:00.007-05:00

What a glorious Easter we had this year praising God for sending his son to die for us all!

I am especially thankful that I was with my family and got to go to church with my family and worship with my church family. I remember last Easter like it was yesterday.

Last Easter I was 3 weeks into a hospital stay that had no end in sight. I was afraid for my baby. My body hurt from being in bed for so long. I was shaky from crazy medicine. I was lonely. I was alone. I was sad. I was mad. I didn't understand why my body would not work the way it should to carry and grow a baby.

Life was going on around me and I could not participate. I wanted to shop for fun stuff for my kid's Easter baskets. I wanted to hide a crazy number of eggs with my husband for our kids to hunt on Easter morning. I wanted to sing those amazing Easter praise songs at church. I wanted to have Easter Dinner with my extended family.

At 5am last Easter morning I was awake and all of these feeling hit me like a truck and I began sobbing. I couldn't stop. I was broken. So very broken.

I decided that I was going to tell my doctor I was done and would be going home. It was decided (in my mind anyway). This was my last day in the hospital. This was my last day taking medicine that made me feel so yucky. This was my last day to tell someone if I had had a BM or not. This was my last day to be hooked up to monitors. I was done. I felt better just knowing that this decision had been made.

I started crying again. How could I be "done" when the tiny baby inside me was not ready to be born.

I had given it my all and didn't know what else I could do.

Through my tears God whispered (or maybe yelled) to me, "Sweet daughter, you may be done but I am not. This journey is not done and it will get harder. Allow me to carry you the rest of the way."

It was a powerful moment for me. I always try to be so strong. I had been asking God to give me strength. In fact, I started each day by asking Him to give me and my family the strength to make it through the day. But this moment was different. God was essentially saying get the heck out of the way and let me take over already!

It was an amazing turning point. Medically speaking things did get worse for me but my spirit was renewed. God's strength was enough. He blessed me in ways that exceeded my expectations.

It was later that week when Amanda, who was a complete stranger at the time, answered God's urging and called me and asked if she could come visit. I could and should devote an entire post to her. I will say she is an amazing Christ follower and has such a sweet spirit. She was with me when I was started on mag. She saw me throwing up and trying to rip my clothes off because I was burning up from the inside out. It was not pretty. She did not leave. She sprang into action and helped take care of me. The most amazing thing was that she came back after seeing all of that.

I will end by sharing some pictures from Easter 2009. I had the goofiest, biggest grin plastered to my face most of the day because remembering what God had brought me through since last Easter just made me giddy!

The bunny brought new swim tubes and candy for the big kids. Matthew got a cool Nike under armor type shirt and Nicole got a tote bag which is also know as a purse for high school girls. I swear they carry the biggest purses these days. Landry got a sippy cup, a cute ladybug toothbrush, bubbles and some yummy Gerber treats!

Landry's Easter basket (bucket) provided lots of fun and entertainment!

We need to work on the hair bow placement a bit!

Cute Cousins whose outfits were so well coordinated and we didn't even plan for it!

Some of my favorite things!

2009-03-31T11:02:00.008-05:00

Oprah has a list of her favorite things so I thought why not put together a list of my favorite things. Sorry folks, I am not going to have a "give away" like Oprah does.

Miracle Gro Potting Soil. Who knew that potting soil could make such a huge difference in my potted plants??? This stuff is greatness. I sometimes have a tendency to over water & this miracle stuff somehow traps the water and releases it slowly over time and it fertilizes your plants so you don't have to remember to do it yourself! Love it cause it makes my plants look fabulous.

Speaking of plants, I just love my Bridal White Spirea. Love it so much that I have 5 of them in different areas of our landscaping. This picture does not really do it justice - the hail storm we had last night pummeled my plant and scattered it's blooms. I wanted to take a picture of Landry or Nicole or the 2 of them together sitting in front of this plant with Landry's fun pink flower hat on but they would have none of it.

Little hands. These little hands love to touch things like faces and hair. It doesn't matter if they know you or not - they will just reach out and grab your face or tug your hair. They must have a mind of their own. They love to clap. They like to reach out and touch plants and anything on a store shelf. These hands spend considerable time on the floor since Landry has learned to crawl and is busy exploring her ever expanding world. It is so fun to see her expressions when she discovers something new.

Sleeping girls.

Notice that both of my girls kinda sleep the same.

One day Landry fell asleep sitting up and toppled over.

Boys exploring.

What are some of your favorite things?

Spring Break

2009-03-26T15:27:00.017-05:00

I just love Spring - it is my favorite season and I missed it entirely last year while I was holed up in rm 13 at Baylor Grapevine. This year I am savoring every aspect of it........cheering for Nicole during her spring softball season, seeing all of my plants bloom and flower, spending time outside and participating in spring break!

We have not gone anywhere for spring break in many years but this year we loaded up the family and headed to the state capital in Austin for a combo mini vacation and our first "check out a college for Nicole" tour.

We toured the capitol building. We ditched a really crowded and boring tour guide and explored on our own. Check out the really cool door knobs & hinges!

We lounged and crawled on the lawn. Notice Landry's foot in the air - she did not want it touching the grass. I am thinking it looks like a pretty good ab work out - sit with your back straight and hold your leg in the air for like 10 minutes!

We attended a UT softball game. Check out their party bus!

We went to THE University of Texas & attended a student/parent info session then took a campus tour. Surprisingly, we were not the only family pushing a stroller during the tour. I don't really recommend taking a baby on a campus tour - the campus was not exactly stroller friendly. Pat & Matthew had to carry a certain baby and her stroller up many stair cases. The campus is really pretty. Y'all might be shocked by this........ Nicole thought it was confusing and is worried that she would have a hard time finding her way around. Go figure.

We visited the LBJ library. If you are ever in Austin I highly recommend checking it out. I am not really a LBJ fan, but the library is so nicely done and it is free and the parking is free, which is really amazing in downtown Austin. There was also some really good, free entertainment in the form of crazy people watching in the laser space show during the Age of Aquarius song.

Pat, Cole & Matthew hiked through the most beautiful botanic gardens. I stayed in the car with certain baby who had just fallen asleep for a much needed nap.

We ate at a really cool local eatery in the Barton Springs area.

We shopped at not 1, but 2 different outlet malls! I drooled over several pretty coach purses but did not buy one even though there were some that were really cheap (okay - not really cheap but cheap for a coach).

We climbed through a cave at Wonder World in San Marcos and saw a fault line.......really cool.

While taking a cheesy train ride at Wonder World, we discovered that Landry loves deer. Although the train ride was so very cheesy, it was fun when we saw Landry's reaction to the animals that approached the train for food. She cracked us up trying to get to those deer!

We laughed and joked and enjoyed creating memories.

Why is the sauce black?

2009-03-14T09:24:00.003-05:00

I have never been a super great cook but feel I do a fairly decent job. Well this week I Have been having some issues in the kitchen.

I try to buy food when it is on sale. I am not always good about planning ahead and using what I have on hand, which has led to some significant clutter in my pantry, freezer and cabinets. Since I am am not working right now and have more time to devote to meal planning an preparation, I have been trying to use what I have on hand to make "real" dinner and not make so much hamburger helper & chicken helper. We could have a whole discussion on the qualification of hamburger helper as actual cooking.......I say it qualifies but that is beside the point.

On Wednesday I came across this bag of BBQ rub for meat in one of my cabinets. Actually it found me when it fell off a shelf when I was trying to get the Pam out. I thought to my self, I can put that on the chicken I was planning to grill but couldn't because of the cold icky rain and if I use enough of it I can throw the container away. I used a lot of the rub and then some more but the container was still not empty so I had to keep it (uggh). I baked the chicken in the oven. The chicken turned out awful. The only way we could even manage to eat it was to scrape all of the caked on BBQ rub off. You know it is bad when you cook 3 chicken breasts for your family of 5 and 1 1/2 of them are left over!

Friday night I decided to make spaghetti. I try not to make spaghetti too often because when I fist got married I made it once or twice a week for a year. Pat thought it must be my favorite food.....I did not understand why he thought this....doesn't everyone have spaghetti that often???? Luckily for my family I have branched out. Anyway, I have not made spaghetti in like 2 months or so and Friday was still cold, gray and rainy - good spaghetti weather, right?

My spaghetti sauce left a little (ok a lot) to be desired and I use sauce from a jar people - it is hard to mess it up. I browned my ground beef, added the sauce, covered the pan and cooked the noodles. How could anything go wrong?

I knew there might be trouble when I took the lid off to stir the sauce and it was sticking to the bottom of my non-stick cookware! I tried to salvage it and pretend that nothing was wrong. Matthew asked, "Mom, why is the spaghetti sauce black?" I stuck with my plan and pretended that it was normal for the sauce to be black. Nicole simply said that it had an "interesting" flavor. I guess you can say that burned/scorched sauce has an interesting flavor. Pat said it had a peculiar look and taste - and not a good one. Landry, who had never eaten spaghetti before, did not seem to notice the odd color or flavor and had fun playing with it.

Surprise - I am updating my blog!

2009-03-09T10:36:00.005-05:00

You know it is time to update your blog when your husband and teenage daughter ask you when you are going to post something new and start giving you ideas of what you can blog about!

My contract job kept me extremely busy during January and February.......at times I didn't feel I even had time to breathe, therefore the blog was neglected.

My contract job ended last Tuesday so I am living in the land of limbo, again. Pat and I are praying for God's direction in the area of my employment and are asking Him to make His plan for us so absolutely, unmistakeably known. I am in the process of interviewing for a really cool job that a new friend from church told me about at her company. If this job is what God has in store for me it will work out and if it is not then it won't. There are a lot of people looking for work and many that absolutely need to have a job. We need me to work (daughter 2 years from going to college & a few months away from driving, health ins, etc.) but we know God will provide if I am not working. Anyway, I am not a huge fan of living in limbo - it makes the planner in me antsy and uneasy. If I will be going back to work soon there are many things I want to do with my time. If I will be staying home there are several things I would like to commit to doing that I will not be able to if I am working.

I would love for you all to pray specifically that God's will for my employment or lack of it will be abundently clear, that Pat & I will keep our eyes open for God's will, for patience and for us to accept His will with a happy heart!

For now I will savor every minute I have to spend at home with Landry during the day and being home when Matthew and Nicole get home from school. They are growing up way too fast for my liking!

I would like to ask everyone to lift up my sister, Kim, and her family in prayer. They brought sweet baby Tess home from the hospital Sunday afternoon and a few short hours later the birth mother changed her mind. My heart is broken for Kim and Micah. I am having a hard time understanding why we got our miracle with Landry while Kim has endured so much pain. We have total faith in God and know He has something huge in store for them but at the same time it just hurts my heart.

A celebrity in the house

2009-01-20T19:39:00.007-06:00

My husband has become an overnight TV and Internet sensation. He was featured on the news last night and his story was then posted on the Internet. He has become an overnight celebrity and is currently looking for a media agent! Don't worry.... he was not in handcuffs, wearing a wife beater or driving a white bronco. He was giving away free food and having a darn good time doing it.

Yesterday our church partnered with Feed the Children and gave away a weeks worth of free groceries to 400 families in need. Pat, Nicole & Matthew arrived at church at the crack of dawn to unload a semi & then helped pass out food to families in need. They were so blessed by helping out at this event.

The media showed up. Pat was interviewed. Pat sang on camera. Matthew was horrified. Matthew told Nicole. Nicole was horrified.

We watched the news figuring that Pat's footage would end up on the cutting room floor but low & behold it did not. Thankfully the singing part ended up on the cutting room floor!!!

I told Pat he must have made the cut because I suggested he use some hair product & untuck his t-shirt before leaving the house. Cause you should look somewhat stylin' to unload a semi & pass out food!

Last night we wondered when the calls would start rolling in. Luckily his fans decided to give us a peaceful evening - they must have know he was tired.

Today was a different story - the calls and comments came. One lady came into Pat's office to tell him she saw him on TV & said that he had restored her faith in people by what he had done. She said she had been telling everyone she saw that her insurance agent was on TV - oh how exciting! I guess she is famous by association. I cannot imagine how much more excited she would have been if she knew he was also on the Internet.

Here is a snippet of Nicole's day as a celebrity's child:
Spanish Teacher: "What's your dad's name?"
Cole: "Pat"
Spanish Teacher: "Oh - I saw him"
Cole: "Where?"
Spanish Teacher: "Channel 8"
Cole: "Great"

One of Matthew's friends asked if Matthew could get an autograph for him!

We will try our best to remain grounded in the midst of Pat's new found celebrity.

All joking aside, it was an incredible outreach event and my family enjoyed serving and praying for its success.

I am adding a hyper link for the very firt time (so I hope it works) just in case you missed the story or want to see or read it again!

http://www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/wfaa/latestnews/stories/wfaa090119_wz_freefood.e48a6a0.html

The unwelcome house guest

2009-01-05T22:03:00.005-06:00

**Update - so round 1 of the battle went to the visitor. We have another man down over here. The war is not over! Nicole and I are going to activate some wonder twin girl type power to protect ourselves and I am going to set off a lysol bomb in the house.***

I would just like to know who invited this very unwelcome guest to our house. This guest arrived sometime in October and has definitely overstayed its welcome (not that it was welcome in the first place). Now that it is January - I am putting my foot down and insisting that it leave.

The guest thinks it is a "giver" because it gives to one of us right after the other and sometimes to all of us at the same time. What the guest doesn't know, or maybe it just does not care, is the gift it gives is not pleasant, wanted or appreciated.

If my memory is correct, this guest first gave to Nicole, then to Landry many times in a row. It began giving to me right before Thanksgiving and has continued ever since. It gave to Pat at the beginning of December and is still giving to him on a lesser extent. Matthew was the last to receive the gift but he got 2 at the same time.

I am officially declaring war on this guest - It's on like donkey kong!

This guest sent Landry to the hospital on Sunday for several hours to get re-hydrated. The one nice thing this guest did was to earn us a wait-free visit to the ER. Apparently a dehydrated baby at the Children's hospital is the equivalent to chest pain at the regular hospital. I was grateful that we did not have to wait with the 100 or so people in the waiting room. Our visit was not entirely without waiting. We did have to wait for lab results, medicine to work and a baby to keep some fluid in her body before we could leave. Check Landry out in her lovely spaceship gown - I think they need pretty pink gowns for the little girl babies and gowns for the moms who get thrown up on.

Matthew got part 1 of his gift on Friday and he received the big gift today at his Kumon math class. He was the first student to throw up at Kumon and boy did he do it right. According to Matthew, another boy was in the bathroom forever. He held it as long as he could and then he could hold no longer - he got the wall, the carpet and the door before the poor unsuspecting boy emerged from the bathroom. They sent for me and all I could say to the young assistants who were spreading paper towels all over the place was, "I bet this wasn't in the job description." The poor guy has spent the better part of the evening in the bathroom. It is lucky for you all that I did not take a picture of the mess!

Like I said earlier - It is on - I have declared war! So you all better buy stock in Clorox because I do not want any more gifts from our visitor.

Dorothy anyone?

2009-01-03T22:51:00.006-06:00

My husband loves a good deal so when we ran across our family's favorite salad dressing on clearance at Wal-Mart he decided that we should buy all 18 bottles. I will say it really was a steal of a deal at $.50 a bottle - regular price $3.99.

On a completely different note - Landry has been having a bit of a rough time this fall and winter with various illnesses. It seems just as soon as she is getting over one illness she gets another one. She got very sick the week before Christmas with Bronchiolitis, which is a lung infection that nearly put her in the hospital. It is the nasty illness that accompanies RSV for many babies. She did not have RSV but some other virus that caused her lungs to tighten way up. She is not a big fan of the breathing treatments!

Just look at those sad eyes....

She was finally starting to breath easier when she got a stomach bug. I am not a big fan of the stomach bug. For a little girl who does not have much of an appetite she sure can throw up a whole lot. Today I have I had to disassemble and wash the car seat, the high chair, carpet, the couch, Nicole, 3 of my outfits and countless baby clothes, blankets and towels.

Christmas 2008

2008-12-27T22:23:00.004-06:00

"I love the pretty bows & paper!"

"Busted" or "What do you mean - it's not for me?"

"Can someone fix my hat?"

Christmas morning - ready to see what Santa brought

Santa brought one of my girls a house - guess who?

Musicians in the making - drums & a guitar for the Wii - what will they think of next!

My Cup Runneth Over

2008-12-27T21:51:00.004-06:00

Hello to my 2 Followers & 4 Loyal Readers. My cup runneth over because I have been awarded not 1 but 2 awards! This somewhat neglected blog of late has received the "Honest Scrap" and "Fabulous Blog" Awards. I have no idea how to put these fun & oh so coveted awards on my blog so maybe it is not quite so fabulous but it is honest. In honor of these 2 awards I may have to celebrate with a blog makeover. Oh Amanda - do you have any free time??? In order to "officially" claim my awards I must tell you 5 addictions and 10 things about myself.

Five of my many addictions:
1. DIET COKE - there is no substitute
2. Reality TV shows any will do but I just love myself some Bachelor
3. My family
4. Jesus
5. Mexican food or should I say Tex-Mex

10 things about me:
1. I have a fear of driving next to concrete barriers especially at high speeds with a semi next to me. If I am being completely honest, which I am, I don’t like driving next to semi’s on the highway even without the concrete barrier next to me. I get all panicky and tense – it is not pretty. I don’t even like to be a passenger in a car next to a semi or concrete barrier.

2. Since I am confessing my crazy driving fears I might as well be honest about the “fly-overs” highways we have here in the DFW area. They tend to be really high & curvy and I don’t like them one bit. They have concrete on both sides! Now mind you I would not like them any better without the concrete barriers. I sometimes choose my route to avoid certain ones and when they are unavoidable, as they often are, I have to say, “I can do this” over and over. My kids make so much fun of me & Matthew is quick to always say, “Hey Mom, we are on a high curvy thing, are you scared….hahaha.” You think he would notice my white knuckles & the hair on my arms standing straight on end.

3. Like my friend Amanda, I was painfully shy as a child and still battle shyness as an adult. I try really hard to combat the shyness and try not to let it stop me from doing something I want to do but there are many times when the overwhelming panic sets in and I just want to cry or vomit or both. When I tell people I am shy most will act surprised and tell me they never would have guessed. I wonder if they are just being nice or if I am doing a better job hiding it???

4. I love medical type shows especially the real-life ones like Hopkins or the mystery diagnosis shows. I could watch them all day long. Sometimes I wish I would have gone to medical school and become a doctor.

5. When I was in college I wanted to be a lawyer so I could become a judge or a politician. Shy girl did not think about all of the networking & fundraising politicians had to do – she just really enjoyed learning about the legal system and arguing!

6. After I decided against the lawyer thing, I was a broadcast journalism major – I wanted to be a TV anchor person. Again, not the typical job for a shy girl! I finally changed my major to Marketing because it did not require me to take a foreign language.

7. I love diet coke. I mean I really love it. Diet Pepsi will not do – I am not a bi-cola girl like my sister Kathy. Diet Coke has my loyalty – there is no substitute. Not many days go by that I don’t have one first thing in the morning. I love the fizz & tingling sensation….it is like a party in my mouth! I like it fresh from a fountain or a can with lots of ice. If it is flat – it does not count.

8. I did not send out birth announcements when Landry was born and I feel guilty. I don’t have anything to put in the “birth announcement” place in her baby book. I have considered printing just one to put in her baby book so she does not have to go to therapy as an adult. In fact I think I will just go ahead and add this to my to-do list. I sent in the newspaper announcement just days before the 6 month deadline, so at least I have that to put in her book!

9. I find blogging therapeutic & I am so glad my sisters Kathy & Kim got me started.

10. My most embarrassing moment (as a kid) was also my sister, Kris’s most embarrassing moment. I threw up on the bus when I was in 6th grade & she was in 8th grade. It was so watery and it rolled to both the front and the back of the bus – no one was sparred. Oh the horror!

So much too say

2008-12-07T12:57:00.006-06:00

Wow, have I been neglecting my blog or what! I am in the midst of decorating my house for Christmas - it is in that state of total disorganization with boxes and tree needle everywhere but I have many stories from the last several weeks to share! First of all, does anyone know why even artificial trees shed those pesky little bits of needle everywhere? Seriously I will vacuum with my Dyson, that I happen to love, and those silly needles show right back up!

Here is a glimpse of what's been going on in my life....

Saturday Matthew's football team won their Superbowl game! It was a very exciting game and we considered ourselves lucky to make it to this championship game after the rocky start his team had. The final score of 18-0 was not really reflective of the defensive battle that took place. Matthew did a great job when he played center, snapping the ball like a pro and he did a great job playing defense as a nose tackle.

Matthew also did a really nice job entertaining his fans by repeatedly pulling up his socks - it made it quite easy to pick him out of the crowd on the field.

Nicole succumbed to the Twilight craze over thanksgiving weekend and has been reading like crazy. She even fell asleep while reading and texting. Her final text said, "I'm really tired and might fall asleep while texting you." I tried to quote it but of course my version includes full words and punctuation, unlike hers!

Landry has decided that an illness every few weeks is going to be her new thing. She had a nasty sinus infection in October, funky discharge from her sinuses oozing out her eyes, a big ol ear infection sent us to the pediatric urgent care on Thanksgiving eve, and she started running a fever on Friday while still on her ear infection antibiotic.

This latest illness reminded us what a great pediatrician we have. Since I couldn't go interview pediatricians while I was pregnant, I asked my fabulous nurses who they liked and Dr. B's name came up over and over again. I took a leap of faith and decided he was our doc without even meeting him - that is how good the recommendations were. Let me just say they were so right!

Anyway, I hate to have a doctor paged after hours because I don't want to be a pest, nuisance or 'that' mom- you know the one, the over-reacting mom they make fun of on Monday mornings for calling. I felt like Landry's situation warranted a call when her fever skyrocketed to 103.7 and was not responding to Tylenol. She was lethargic and could barely whimper - it was quite pathetic and heartbreaking. So I made the call - apologizing to the answering service, who gets paid to answer the phone, the whole time. Dr. B called back right away and sounded genuinely concerned -he told us she could have Motrin now that she was older and to rush her to the ER if her fever got any higher. Scary thought! He said he would check in with me in the morning and have us meet him at his office if we weren't already at the hospital. I was still in apologizing mode for disturbing his Saturday evening and he thanked me for calling.

Landry responded really well to the Motrin/Tylenol combination and when Dr B called on Sunday morning I told him she was doing much better. He was not moved and wanted me to bring her to his office for a check up. I thought he meant Monday but he meant now, as in Sunday morning.

I have to say it is really nice having the dr meet you at the front door and escorting you back to an exam room - no waiting!!! Dr B. even did all of the nurse stuff like weighing Landry and taking her temp. Even though it took him a few tries, I told him I was impressed that he knew how to operate the digital baby scale!

The final verdict was a nasty virus, a full size sample of a decongestant (yippe for no wait or co-pay at CVS), and a very loyal patient.

I don't know how I will manage going to the dr during regular hours - one could really get used to private appointments!

By the way, Landry is feeling much better.

One final tid-bit.......
While on my latest trip to New York, my husband figured out that I have not lived at home for 20% of 2008. I am hoping to improve my at home percentage for 2009!

There's one in every crowd

2008-11-21T21:42:00.007-06:00

People watching in New York City was at its finest tonight my friends. We decided to eat some cheesecake in the Rock Cafe at Rockefeller Center and watch the ice skaters. The show we saw was much better than even I, a seasoned people watcher, could have expected.

There is usually one in every crowd but tonight we were treated to 3 - 3 people who thought they were all that and then some!

Our first performer is Mr. Jive in the light blue jacket. He was dancing to his own music.

Up next we have Mr. Ear Muff in the navy jacket. I understand the need for ear muffs in this frigid weather but, please make sure your ear muffs don't match your hair. When I first picked ear muff guy out of the crowd I though he just had a unique hair style and called him "guy with the hair". I had to re-name him when upon closer inspection I realized he was wearing hair colored ear muffs. He had a stellar moment in his warm-ups, which was not caught on camera, where he stumbled and then in a classic move examined the ice as if to lay the blame it.

My personal favorite is our third contestant in the tan trench coat. He, who we thought at first, was a she, has a unique style that is best seen because words simply cannot do it justice. Enjoy the video & if you can think of a clever name for #3 please share.

If you mute the music you will hear some nice commentary along with a guy trying to interrupt my filming to sell me something.

The "Welcome Basket"

2008-11-19T20:14:00.001-06:00

When I entered my room I noticed a lovely basket of goodies and thought, “wow, how nice of the hotel to give me a welcome basket – this place really wants to make me feel ummm, welcome.”

On closer inspection I discovered that I am welcome to partake in the goodies in my welcome basket if I am willing to pay $6.95 for a bottle of water. It is a really nice bottle of water. It has a pretty French name and the bottle itself is pleasantly pleasing to the eye but I think I’ll stick to the $1.79 bottle of Aquafina from the corner drug store.

By the way, I think it may be harder to resist the mini-bar when it is not tucked away in a little fridge and looks like a welcome basket…..kudos to the genius who came up with this concept.

Can you tell I don’t get out much?

If you are going to be home sick…..

2008-11-19T20:04:00.003-06:00

I have to confess, I started getting home sick before I even left for my 9 day adventure in Ney York City. I boo-hooed about leaving all Sunday evening & in the very wee hours of Monday morning. Now that I am here I have to say, if you are going to be home sick this hotel I am staying at is a pretty nice place to be home sick.

First of all it is big, very, very big. By New York City standards it is gigantic. I think my suite is bigger than my fist apartment. I get to call it a suite because it has a living room and a bedroom. My first room had 2 bathrooms but, I gave it up in order to move to a suite where I could get cell service. I figured it was worth it cause really I can only use one bathroom at a time.

I have 2, yes 2, big flat panel TV’s that swivel. I am easily impressed.

The bathroom is stocked with Aveda products. I don’t buy these pricy products for myself so this is a real treat for me to have rosemary mint smelling hair!

If the Aveda products were not enough to impress you then maybe this will. Sitting upon my fluffy bed linens sat a pillow menu. If you are like me and not familiar with a pillow menu or do not believe me I took a picture. The choices include the Swedish Memory pillow, the Buckwheat pillow, the Hypo-Allergenic pillow, the Magnetic Therapy pillow, the Sound Pillow and the Down pillow. Each pillow is described in delicious detail.

Oh, by the way, as I type this I am enjoying my view of the empire state building out of my living room window!

Trick or treat....hey do you want a shot of tequilla with that candy?

2008-11-02T12:22:00.008-06:00

All in all we had a great Halloween.

Landry was a pumpkin. She looked really cute in her costume that was meant for 30 degree weather. It was a balmy 80 on Halloween here in Texas. My mom got Landry the pumpkin get up last January when we were in Florida. I can't imagine why the woolly pumpkin costume was on clearance for $1.97 at the Old Navy in Florida!! Seriously, why would they even try to sell this costume in Florida? Anyway, I put her in it for pictures and 5 minutes later she was a cranky ball of sweat.

Matthew was Jack Bauer from 24. It is hard to tell in this pic but his face is covered in bruises.

Nicole did not dress up but was really happy to take Landry trick-or-treating so she could get candy. It was some nice sister teamwork. Landry's job was to look cute with the pumpkin costume half way on (to allow for air circulation) and Nicole's job was to push her in the stroller to each neighborhood door, hold her candy bag open & most importantly eat the candy. Landry fell asleep after 4 houses and woke up just as we were getting home in time to survey their loot.
My nephew, Ryan, came over and he was the most authentic looking fireman you have ever seen. About half way thru his mom was carrying his helmet and his dad was carrying him!

At one of the houses of a neighbor we don't know well, Nicole came running back saying she had just been offered a shot of alcohol in addition to candy. She was stunned and said, "ummm, no thank you I'll just have the candy." I know she is growing up but she certainly does not look like she is 21!

I would not be keeping it real if I did not share what was on my heart throughout the day on Halloween, so here goes.......

As I was getting the pumpkin costume out of the back of Landry's closet, I couldn't stop thinking about my niece Lucy and tears filled my eyes. My mom bought 2 woolly pumpkin costumes in January. One for Landry & one for Lucy.....sweet little girl cousins that, in my mind, were supposed to grow up together. God had other plans for Lucy's life. Plans my feeble mind cannot always understand or comprehend. I so wanted to call my sister, Kim, and laugh about the woolly pumpkins we had for our babies on such a warm Halloween. I think of Lucy often as Landry is growing and changing and I miss her terribly.

Sleep beats hunger

2008-10-30T00:18:00.010-05:00

I am trying to keep Landry on a schedule.

Some days it works other days, not so much.

Breakfast comes before the morning nap so the nap will be long. Without breakfast the nap is a cat nap because someone (not me) gets hungry and wakes up to eat. Anyway, on this morning, Landry was tired and hungry. I was determined to feed her breakfast before her morning nap.

Halfway through some really yummy rice cereal sleep won.

Watch & see.......

Did I mention...the bumbo seat is one of the best inventions ever!

Random pictures of my cute kids

2008-10-29T21:36:00.008-05:00

You would think with all my newish free time I would have time to update my blog. Apparently not so much. The past few weeks have consisted of school, softball, football, pumpkins, a sick baby, a sick teenager, more football and more softball. Here are a few fun pic's I have taken over the past couple of weeks.......

Look mom - no hands!

You know you have big thighs when your chair is attached to you when you stand up. Can we say thigh master???

Nicole and her teammates goofing off in between games

A sick baby & the kids I forced to go to the pumpkin patch. The forced kids smiled, the sick baby did not.

My football player Matthew.....he is the one with his hand on the football

Pray for these babies......

2008-10-17T08:11:00.005-05:00

baby Smith

baby Thomas

Last night our dear youth pastor, Rob, and his wife, Kimi, had twins boys. She was just shy of the 31 week mark so they are small and in the NICU. Our God is a great God and we praise Him for their birth.

Kimi was living in room 210 at Baylor, the same room I started out in, for the past 2 1/2 weeks. She endured Mag, terbutaline, steroid shots, bed rest and bought these beautiful boys precious time to grow.

Kimi & Rob have a strong faith and absolutely trust God. We are asking God to continue growing Thomas and Smith and to give Rob and Kimi peace and comfort during this difficult time.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

2 ways to ruin a teenagers life...

2008-10-16T08:15:00.003-05:00

Over the past week I have found not just 1 but 2 ways to ruin my poor daughter's life. In case you want to know how to scar your child for life you can learn from me.

1. Tell your teenager her parents are the only ones she is allowed to text from school. This rule was put in place when we realized that our daughter who normally follows all school rules (she was the girl telling the teacher that boys were playing with scissors on the 1st day of kindergarten) was texting her way through several classes each day. Call me crazy but I think 75 text messages in an hour is a bit excessive. I am not sure how one can type that many text messages and read the 75+ incoming messages in that amount of time. Anyway, Cole has found one reason or another to text Pat or I almost every day. Some of the reasons have been really creative.....she sent Pat a text asking him to call me to check my phone for a text. The side benefit of this rule is more communication with us - woo hoo!!!

2. Make your child ride the bus home every once in a while. Cole tells me the bus is a dangerous place, too hot or too cold - take your pick depending on the weather and it puts a crimp in her after school socializing. I told her she could socialize on the bus. This earned me a lovely eye roll - apparently the people she wants to socialize with don't ride her bus. I told her riding the bus builds character.

If anyone has some other great ways to ruin their child's life please share!

Landry got 2 teeth

2008-10-13T21:36:00.002-05:00

Little Miss Landry got her very first tooth on Thursday and her second tooth today. She has been drooling like a faucet and chomping on everything she can get her mouth on. Our fingers have become her teether of choice. I think she is happy with her first teeth - when you see her she will be sure to smile & show them off!

We have added Sweet Potatoes to the list of food items Landry does not tolerate. So her veggie choices are limited to squash or carrots. I can tell you they taste pretty similar, so not much culinary variety for our girl.

Now that I am home I have been spending time trying to teach her to roll over. She is happy when I roll her over but is not too interested in trying it on her own. For now her only trick is the oh-so charming spitting.

On a completely different note - I successfully made it into & out of the parking garage - the very same one that destroyed my back window!!!

Beware

2008-10-07T09:02:00.006-05:00

Consider yourself officially warned to never, and I mean never let Nicole root for you if you are on a reality show or in a very important sporting event, like the Super Bowl.

Nicole and I love reality TV shows and one of our favorites is the Amazing Race. We also love ourselves some American Idol & over the summer we somehow discovered Tori & Dean. I can't believe I just admitted that I watched that show!!! A recent addition to our reality show must see list is Dancing with the Stars. I was slow to pick up on this show but Nicole kept turning it on & eventually I got sucked in.

Without fail, Nicole's favorite always finds a way to not make it to the end of the show and last night on Dancing with the Stars was no exception.

I believe this unlucky streak goes way back to the first time Rob & Amber were on the Amazing Race and came in a disappointing second place. They fell prey to her again during the All Star Amazing Race. David Archelleta is another victim and so are the New Englad Patriots and many men and women on the Bachelor & Bachelorete. The list could go on & on.

Nicole was rooting for Misty May & Max to win on Dancing with the Stars. It was an easy pick for Nicole with Misty being a gold medal winner and all. Nicole thought she would win for sure. What could possibly go wrong?

Misty blew out her Achilles tendon while practicing her dance routine. That's what happened. In the ensuing interview Misty graciously said, "we don't know why these things happen...."

Nicole & I started laughing and said we know exactly why this happened - Nicole was rooting for you!

Nicole so owes Misty an apology!!!

Karen, a pole and a parking garage

2008-10-01T22:02:00.007-05:00

I'll start by saying that I have never really liked parking garages. I am sure that there is some type of parking garage phobia and I probably have it in addition to my fear of really high overpasses but that is another story altogether. I'll confess that I have been known to duck when entering parking garages - just in case my car is too tall & the roof is sheered off.

Here's my story and another reason for me to loathe the parking garage....

I arrived at my outplacement class and found my way into the parking garage. I was proud of myself for not scrapping the side of my car on the spiral ramp that took me down into the dark dungeon like garage and for not having a complete panic attack doing so. The first layer of the garage looked full and I did not relish the thought of having to go down another spiral ramp so I decided to take a pass at the far side of the garage even though it looked pretty full. I found a spot!!! In my infinite wisdom I decided it would be easier to back into the spot rather than trying to back out of the spot to leave. In hindsight this was not so wise! I saw some equipment on the wall behind my car but what I did not see was the thin metal pole protruding from a piece of the equipment. As I was carefully backing up I heard a loud crack and looked back and saw that the back window was gone. Completely gone - other than a few random pieces that fell out later when I drove. Now I understood why the darn spot was empty. Clearly it should have been marked with a compact car only sign!

I have to confess that for an isty - bitty - teeny - tiny moment I thought about telling my hubby that I had been a victim of a random act of violence - my car was damaged by some radical green person that goes around damaging gas guzzling SUV's. It is not a far stretch - a upper middle aged well to do man was just apprehended in swanky Southlake for vandalizing Hummers because they are damaging the planet and are causing economic problems. I did the right thing and I told on myself.

I learned a few things from my parking mishap...

Husbands are a lot less upset when they think something is going to cost $2500 then find out it will only cost $250.

The price of my particular back windshield glass is the only price that has gone down in this crazy economy of ours.....go figure.

If our insurance company was going to pay to have my window fixed it would cost way more.

If you ask for the "price that will not make my husband freak out" you will get a discount!

In the event that my truck finds it way into a body of water, I am comforted by the thought that we can break the back window with the slightest tap of something metal and escape to safety!
My husband is the best (I already knew this) because he didn't get too mad and told me that it could have been worse.
Next time I will avoid the evil parking garage altogether!

Holy Cow!!! How did that happen???

2008-10-01T20:00:00.005-05:00

This picture does not quite do justice...my back window shattered into a billion little pieces today. I want you all to guess as to how this tragic event took place by leaving me a comment. I'll post the answer in the near future. Here are the choices

Kids in the neighborhood throwing rocks
Matthew and a hockey stick....need I say more
I picked the wrong place to park at Nicole's softball practice
Pat got caught in the middle of a road rage incident
Karen, a pole and a parking garage
Nicole learning to back out of the garage
I made a wrong turn into a ghetto and my car is the color of the rival gang
Landry screeched really loudly & it shattered the glass
We just wanted some fresh air and this seemed a logical way to get it with out having the wind-blown look

One week later...

2008-09-26T08:56:00.004-05:00

It has been a little over a week since I was told I was no longer needed at work and I can honestly said I am ok. I am not walking around looking like a deer in headlights anymore. Every once in a while anger and disbelief reels its ugly head but then I remember who is in control of my life and that I am on a journey. I am truly looking forward to see what God has in store for me....I am just praying that I don't get in the way of His plans!!!

I have a few random thought flying around my head so I think I'll share them....

Is it ok to eat Oreos while watching Biggest Loser?

Landry has a shirt that says "Little Sister" in cute pink sequins (even babies need some bling). I put it out one morning for her to wear to school. The following conversation took place between Pat & myself:

Pat - Do you think that shirt is a little inappropriate for Landry to wear to school?

Me - What's wrong with it; it's really cute? Aren't you the dad who let our 2 year old wear a Hooter's t-shirt and an Eskimo Joe's shirt to the Baptist Church day care on a regular basis? (they are still praying for us).

Pat - Those shirts didn't have cus words on them!

Me - Huh - what are you talking about?

Pat - The shirt that says "Little S**ter!"

Me - You need glasses or possibly your head examined - it says "Little Sister"

I filed for unemployment online. Yes - I will be taking a government handout soon. I was happy to find out that I did not have to go a gloomy government office and wait in a long line with a bunch of unemployed people. But I had to call them because I was off work so much this year and the instructions said leave of absences need to be reported so you salary can be figured on the previous years wages in order to get your maximum allowed benefit. I called & after the worlds longest and slowest automated phone menu, I was told there was a 37 minute wait. Seriously - 37 minutes. I thought calling at 8 would give me enough time to take care of this little chore before showering & getting ready to leave for Bible Study at 9:15. I like my shower plus I think you should be clean and smell good when going to bible study but I knew I would not have time to wait for 37 minutes and still have time to shower. I put the phone, that is not a speaker phone, on the counter, showered, dried my hair, put make up on & did a few things around the house.....they still had not picked up by 9:15. I hung up and left.

I called again this morning. Guess what - the estimated wait time was 37 minutes again. It must be their standard wait time. I am thinking there must have been some type of government study that showed 37 minutes is a good estimated wait time - it will scare off many callers and only the die hards will stick around to wait. They forgot one thing - their callers are unemployed - we have time on our hands. Apparently we all wait because the actual wait time was 1 hour 17 minutes....77 minutes. Their estimation was a bit off. Time for a new study.

Oh, the best part of this......even though I had just 6 months of wages during the 12 month time frame they looked at it was enough to qualify for the maximum benefit therefore they did not need to make an adjustment. So no need to call. Nice!

Another twist in the road

2008-09-18T00:41:00.003-05:00

Almost a year ago I found out that we were going to be blessed with a new baby. It was a surprising twist in the road to say the least but it was a good surprise. Today, technically yesterday, I was faced with another surprising twist in the road of my life. I was laid off. I can hardly believe the words as I type them because it has not really sunk in just yet. This is unchartered territory for me and it may take me a while to come to terms with it.
While I was out for many months with a crazy pregnancy my department went through a reorganization - it was like the 5th once since I have been there but this was a super big one. When I returned to work it was not really the same environment I left and I had a new boss. He didn't talk to me often which made me feel un-easy. Yesterday a co-worker and I, were told that we were not needed because much of what we do oops did was going to be outsourced. I am left wondering how a decision to outsource could be made when no one has even looked at any of the work I have done or talked to me about my capabilities, skills and abilities. I am baffled and my feelings are hurt - big time.

I know that God has a plan and I will be OK, actually I will be better than OK but right now the shock still stings. I am going to make the best of this situation and my new found time.

I was going to join a ladies bible study at church this past Tuesday evening - they were starting Beth Moore's Stepping Up and I just love Beth Moore. I ended up not being able to go and I was worried about having the time to actually do the work. This evening I joked with Pat and told him that the up side to today's event was that now I could go to the daytime study that starts on Thursday & I certainly have the time to do the work (Be careful what you ask for!!!)

So off I ran to Lifeway to buy the workbook for the study. While I was looking for the workbook I overheard another shopper ask a worker for the Stepping Up book being held for Keystone Church. I piped up and said that I go to Keystone & was looking for the same book. I had never seen this gal before but we go to the same church so we got to talking and before I knew it she asked me what I did. I was not prepared to answer this easy run of the mill, chit-chatty type question. So I say,"I am a Learning & Development Designer, or at least I was until this afternoon.....I just got laid off today." AWKWARD! I definitely have to work on my response.

Just another Monday

2008-09-16T06:42:00.005-05:00

6:30 am - leave for work

3:30 pm - pick up Landry at day care

3:35 - pick up Nicole at school

3:45 - drop off Nicole, run in the house to pee, pick up Matthew & head to Kumon

4:00 - drop Matthew off at Kumon & run to Walmart to buy candy for Nicole to throw in the Homecoming parade

4:30 - feed Landry a bottle in the Kumon waiting area

5:30 - return home drop off Matthew, run in house to pee & change shirt covered in spit up, pick up Nicole & her parade boat, camera, baby food, paci & an additional burp cloth. Luckily PAt made it home to take Matthew to his football scrimmage that started at 6!

6:00 - drop Nicole off at the Softball team float (it took forever to get ther because of the parade gridlock traffic - both cars & people)

6:30 - after fighting my way through the same parade traffic....parked, found a spot to sit & watch the parade then fed Landry rice cereal & sweet potatoes while waiting for the Homecoming parade to start
7:15 - waved at Nicole & snapped pictures as Nicole's float finally came by...it is the second to last group but the hest group. The softball team won first place for having the best float!!! Don't you all like her personal boat we made this weekend!

7:20 - run to car & fight more parade traffic on my way to Matthew's football scrimmage
7:35 - arrive at Matthew's football scrimmage, snap photos, feed Landry part of a bottle before the scrimmage is over.

Matthew is in the black jersey playing center. He looks like a pro out there & really got into his position & enjoyed calling his team into the huddle. We loved seeing this type of leadership out of him! I was told I couldn't say he looked cute but he sure did.

8:30 - arrive home after getting stuck at a railroad crossing while the world's longest train slowly made its way by
8:30-9:30 - unloaded the car, finished feeding a baby, bathed a baby, washed 1 load of laundry, made bottles for the next day, re-stocked the diaper bag, straightened up the kitchen, sent Matthew to the shower, reviewed progress reports, tucked in 3 kids

9:30 - collapsed on the couch to watch a little bit of the Cowboys game with my hubby

That was my Monday - it was a busy day but I had a fun evening watching my kids enjoy their activities.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-09-10T22:17:00.004-05:00

Ok I am a dork - I am trying to type the song Changes that is running through my head. I could also title this post "Where has all my hair gone" or "Look how far I have come" but those are not really songs and that silly song is stuck in my head.

Landry was born with a head full of hair and skinny little chicken legs. Now she is nearly bald and has chunkalicious legs. Yes, I made that word up - it is the best word I could come up with to describe her legs. I am amazed by how much she has grown and changed in 4 1/2 months. She loves to smile & coo - it often sounds like she is singing. I had to include this picture of her with green beans all over her face to show you all how much she really loved them. Just a week ago she would sit in her bouncy seat to eat but now she refuses to eat unless she is sitting up. So for now I hold her in my lap.....it is messy - we both need to wear a bib.

Nicole signs with Texas Generation

2008-09-10T21:46:00.003-05:00

We have known since last summer that Nicole needed to change select softball teams in order to grow as a player but it is hard to leave your comfort zone, so we stuck with what we knew. This summer we made the decision to really start looking for a new team for her and as fate would have it her old coach also decided that Nicole should look for a new team. Unfortunately, he made the call first, oh wait, he didn't call, he sent an e-mail. (I am not bitter!) Nicole asked if it was ok to tell people that she left the team since she had already decided that she was not going to play for them anymore rather than say she "got fired". It is kinda like the chicken & the egg....it really doesn't matter because the end result is the same.

I have been praying for God to lead us to the right team for Nicole with coaches that would teach her and help her reach her potential. Pat & I scoured the softball message boards for tryouts and I had a master list of when they were all taking place - so many of them overlapped and it was hard to decide which ones to go. I was getting absolutely stressed out by the whole thing and Nicole was exhausted from going to tryouts almost every evening during the week and 2 on Saturdays & Sundays. Her favorite team of all of the ones she worked out with was the Texas Generation - the coach is a current college coach and it was a new team. Nicole really liked the coaches and the idea of it being a new team because she won't feel like the new girl. We like it because the coach is interested in developing the girls and challenging them to play multiple positions. The only downside is the practice location - it is nearly an hour away if there is mild traffic & traffic can get kinda nasty. The pros definitely outweighed the one negative and we told the coach we were in.

The team had an official signing banquet & took photos of each girl with the coaches and manager of the program. They wanted it to be like a college signing & wanted the girls to feel special. They made a big deal out of the 18u gold team of which Nicole is a part.

We are excited to see what this year holds for Nicole. I can tell you she has a renewed passion & is excited to play & work hard.

Green beans & a softball incident

2008-09-03T13:01:00.002-05:00

I will start off by saying that life around here is never dull. Never.

Both of my girls are having issues today. One has a big lump on the wrist and the other has a big ol rash all over her face, neck & chest. By 8:45am I had placed calls to the pediatrician and the orthopedist whom we should keep on retainer.

Landry loves green beans but they are not returning the love to her. Over the weekend we had a much more successful rice cereal experience than our try a month ago. Since it went well I introduced green beans as her first veggie on Monday evening and she absolutely loved it. She was really cute chomping her mouth as she saw the spoon coming her way.

When I picked her up from school yesterday her cheeks were a bit flushed looking and I checked her temperature - it was fine so I didn't think much of it. Miss Susan, her teacher, said that she did great eating her rice cereal and beans. She gobbled up more beans for dinner and I even gave her "seconds" when she asked/demanded more. By bed time her cheeks were redder and rough and she was getting some lovely bumps around her mouth. I thought we were done with the baby acne but it looked like it was back with a vengeance. She had a rough night & we saw her at midnight and then again at 4. At 4 I noticed that the red bumps had spread to her neck and chest. I was finally cluing in that this was a rash and not baby acne. I began to wonder if it could be caused by the green beans.....the dr told me to be on the look out for a reaction to food and to only introduce 1 new food every 3 days. I had been on the look out for a hurting tummy not a rash so I called the dr's office. I really felt dumb for calling as this is my third child & you think I would have this all figured out by now but I don't. Nurse Judy confirmed my suspicion of the green beans and said that she may be allergic to them and is definitely showing signs of an intolerance. So for now, no green veggies for Landry. We were instructed to wait a week and try orange veggies. Nicole wants to know how Landry got so lucky to be allergic to green veggies!!!

Yesterday at softball practice Nicole was throwing with Jordie the Junior who is now a senior and got hit with a hard thrown ball at the base of her right hand - right in the area where your hand and wrist connect. She said all the girls around her heard the loud crack it made but she did not want to be hurt again so said she was fine & sucked it up. Pat & I being the sympathetic parents that we are asked her why she didn't catch the ball and she told us something about the wind & having both hands up because the coach was yelling at them to use 2 hands. I want to know what it is with Nicole & the second week of school....she hurt he ankle last year during the second week of school. Pat said that she gets hurt in all of the months. I guess she is an equal opportunist but I still think she is secretly partial to September.

When I called to make an appointment for Nicole the office lady assumed that Nicole was a new patient so I explained that she was a regular. One look at her records and she was like oh my she is a regular. Unfortunately you don't get a discount for being a regular at the orthopedist's office. Nicole saw Dr. Hahn, who did my arm surgery, and he was a bit taken aback to see me again so soon ( I was just there on Friday). The x-rays showed a possible break on the ulna something or other bone but it was not 100% conclusive because that bone is part of the growth plate and Nicole's is starting to close. For now she is in a brace and will be re-xrayed in a week. The good news is she can still run and we alll know how much she loves to run. Her new softball coach is training for a marathon and believes in the team run.....her moto might be "the team that runs together wins together."

Honey you may be right.....

2008-09-01T21:29:00.004-05:00

You better sit down for this one......Pat called me Thursday evening and said, "Honey you may be right about me needing a new car."

Did I hear him correctly? Did he really say I was right?

I have been "suggesting" that he needed a new car for the past 2 years but he wanted to hang on to his trusty old Taurus. Those of you that know my husband well or quite frankly know him at all know that he does not like to spend money and he rebuffed my suggestions.

This summer it became quite obvious that the Taurus was on life support......it is not normal to have to stop 3 times on the way home to put water into your car. We began looking for a car. It was not easy for Pat because he knew that the looking would lead to buying. He kept commenting that other car seats just did not seem as comfortable. Hmmm - I think after 9 years and 186,000 miles the seat is completely broken in and molded to your body. I was so proud of him when he test drove a car and brought it home (actually to the football field) to show me. I thought we were getting close to making a final decision and he would come home the next day with his "new to me" used car. Nicole & I were both disappointed when we did not see a new car in the driveway the next day.

Back to last Thursday and me being right about needing a new car..... The trusty old Taurus finally realized that it would not be laid to rest and decided to take matters into its own hands. As Pat idled at an intersection he saw/smelled smoke and thought to himself that poor guy in the car next to me is having car trouble. A moment later Pat realized that he was that poor guy. He managed to make it to the parking lot of an abandoned 7-11 and made the call. I came and picked him up thinking that we would head straight to a car dealership to buy a car. Instead he headed home and said we could share my car the next day because he needed more time to shop around and decide which car he wanted to buy. I was not exactly the supportive wife and told him that his time for shopping was over and the check needed to be written. He turned to me and asked if I even cared that this was hard for him. I offered to write the check for him. It was not the kind of support he was looking for.

On Friday Pat shopped on the internet one last time & test drove one more car before deciding to purchase the 2004 Volvo S-80 he drove home earlier in the week to show me. It was a really great find with only 23,000 miles for a fantastic price. I hope my sweet man enjoys his well deserved new car.

Thankful

2008-08-28T14:53:00.001-05:00

Landry’s 4 month check-up was on Tuesday. As soon as we got to the doctors office she began to cry. She was inconsolable. She was not hungry ~ she had just finished eating. She would not suck the paci that she usually loves. She did not calm down with swaying, rocking, bouncing. It didn’t matter if I stood or sat ~ the tears continued. I tried to lay her down but she screamed louder.

She cried so long & so hard that Nurse Judy came in to check on us - several times. I told her I was not pinching my baby and that I thought Landry was not feeling well because she had been having these “little episodes” since Saturday. Nurse Judy said I might need to stop for a margarita on the way home!

As I looked into Landry’s eyes she seemed to be saying, “Help me mommy, something is wrong ~ I am hurting here. Can’t you see my pain?” I just kept telling her that she was ok, that I loved her, that she was in her mommy’s arms, that she was safe, that I would take away her pain if I could.

I wonder how many times we are inconsolable, crying out in pain while God holds us in his arms saying, “Sweet child of mine, you are safe and loved, I can see your pain and want to heal you. Everything is going to be ok.”

Dr. Benzick came in and could see & hear that all was not well in Landry’s world. I explained that for the most part she has become a happy baby ~ full of smiles. She had been a bit congested and I thought she must have an ear infection. She did not. He asked me several questions, did a thorough exam and explained that these not so little episodes were caused by her GERD (reflux) flaring up. He had hoped that it would be much better by 4 months but it is not. Other that her GERD, Landry is doing great! She is growing…..she is now 24 inches ~ 84 percentile & weighs 14 lbs 9 oz ~ 94 percentile. You see Landry outgrew her Zantac dose. Dr. B doubled her dose and said we should notice a huge improvement in a week or so.

Sometimes when we are in pain we may need to “double our dose” so to speak by spending more time at the feet of Jesus. When I am in pain this is definitely not the first thing that comes to my mind. While I was in the hospital, I could not even open my Bible (gasp.) I asked Pat to bring it to the hospital but once it was there I could not open it. I wanted to but I couldn’t. I was afraid. I was afraid that God would not tell me what I wanted to hear. While Landry was in the hospital I could not open it either. It’s not that I didn’t trust Him because I did and I (and many others) prayed myself through many days. God is creative & bigger than my fear so he found lots of other ways to get his word in front of me. Every meal tray had Bible versus…I read those. Thanks to Amy, I read a lot of Francine Rivers books. If you have ever read a Francine Rivers book you know they are full of scripture. I swear they are like doing a bible study. She certainly has a gift, as each book spoke to me in many ways. One of the reoccurring messages was not to be afraid....God has it all in control & will find a way to use even bad things for His purpose & His glory. I am thankful that I serve a God who pursues me even when I am so undeserving.

Nurse Judy returned to give Landry her shots and said she was amazed at how calm I had been during the whole crying ordeal. I told her I could handle this crying because I was thankful for the blessing of having a baby to hold in my arms. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the crying and I certainly don’t want my baby to be in pain. Quite frankly, I could do without the screaming & tears but………my perspective is different. I had to fight hard for this baby. I have seen devastating losses that my sister and others have suffered. I have seen many others long to have a baby. I am in process of witnessing one of my co-workers lose the baby he & his wife have fostered with the hopes of adopting for a year and a half. My heart breaks for all of them but I know our Heavenly Father has each of them in His arms and is whispering sweet words of love to them.

For this I am thankful.

Long Lost Post.....Road Trip Part 2

2008-08-23T23:11:00.004-05:00

Karen's version of the kayaking story..... Nicole really wanted to go kayaking in the ocean while we were in Corpus. We found a rental place right on the beach by the USS Lexington & thought it would be cool to kayak with the USS Lexington in the back drop. The rental guy told the kids not to go too close to the ship or else they would think they were terrorists.

Could the US government really mistake 2 kids in a rented kayak for terrorists?

My friend Amanda always seems to have her camera on hand at all times and snaps pictures of random funny things. Seeing that we were on vacation, I actually had my camera with me when we saw some random funny signs. I just had to capture them and share them with you all.

Sausage and snow cones - now that is a combination I would not typically put together.

This sign was at the entrance to the Ghetto go cart park.

Do we look scary throwing gang signs? Nicole's make shift do-rag is actually a burp cloth. I failed to tell Nicole that Landry had just spit up before I gave it to her to put on her head! They also had a buzzer on the front door - you were supposed to ring it to get in but we were able to walk right in. We would have felt a bit better if the door was actually locked like the sign indicated.

Good times!!!

Football, football & more football

2008-08-20T20:45:00.005-05:00

Matthew has football on the brain - it is all he has been thinking & talking about recently. From the time Matthew was little he has talked about playing football. Real football the kind you play on a real team. The kind of football that requires helmets, pads & mouth guards. Matthew loves to play flag football with anyone who is willing to play & he loves to throw the football with his dad. He recently set up some net system using the basketball goal & left over crown molding (don't ask) to practice throwing at targets. A few years ago he built uprights out of pvc pipes so he could practice kicking field goals. I remember one time when my football playing brother, who was in high school at the time, and several of his friends spent the night with us, Matthew had them all out in the front yard playing football with him. I think he was 4 or 5. When we were choosing a name for Matthew, one of the requirements was that his name had to sound good being announced over a high school PA system. In Texas you can't have some wimpy sounding name being announced after making a great play under the Friday night lights. So you see football is in his blood, but he has never played on a real team.

Every year for the past 4 years or so Matthew has toyed with the idea of playing on a real football team. Every year when the football sign up flyers are sent home & the portable signs around town announce that it is time to sign up for fall football, Pat & I ask Matthew if he wants to play. Every year without fail he tells us that he will think about it. For whatever reason he always decides against it and plays fall baseball instead. This year he chose football.

He is excited! He is the kind of excited usually reserved for Christmas morning or a big trip. He is cracking us all up. He was dying to get all of his equipment and we finally made it to Academy on Sunday afternoon to get it. We did not get it all on Sunday because he wanted to look at all of his helmet options before deciding on one. He wore the shoulder pads in the car just in case we got into an accident and as soon as we got home Matthew had all of his gear on....just to make sure it fit. He has come up with many other reasons to try all of his stuff on at least 3 times a day. Let me just say he looks really cute in it. I know I'll get in trouble for calling him cute but I'm his mom & can call him cute if I want to. After looking at all of our football helmet options, we made our way back to Academy to make our helmet purchase. Matthew wore the helmet home - just in case he was called on to tackle someone in the car, I guess. Of course he had to try everything back on now that he has his helmet to complete his ensemble.

I sure hope his football experience on a real team lives up to his hopes and dreams. I hope that he does not come home from his first practice in tears like my brother did. What I do know is that we will be there cheering him on. I also know that he will be sleeping with his helmet on tonight!

The sky is blue, right?

2008-08-13T12:16:00.003-05:00

So the other day I found out Nicole & her cousin Megan tried hard, really, really hard to convince Matthew that he was color blind when they were on their cruise together last week. They went so far as to tell him that he was red - purple color blind. They did a really good job...I heard a slight, I mean really slight twinge of concern in Matthew's voice about this possible situation. I couldn't help myself and said, "Don't worry Matthew you know my car is pink!"

Injured while laying in bed

2008-08-08T10:59:00.006-05:00

I had surgery on Tuesday to repair my arm. My arm was injured in the most unusual way - I don't have a good story to tell. I did not hurt it in some ESPN highlight worthy sporting contest. I did not fall, while walking, like my daughter Nicole did. I simply injured my arm while laying in bed. Nicole says I am the only one she knows that could sustain an injury while laying in bed.

During my experience in the hospital taking Procardia, my hands and feet became numb and tingly feeling - they said it was a side effect. When I discontinued taking it my feet and left hand felt more normal - normal for the end of pregnancy anyway. I did not think much about my tingly, hurting right hand because other parts of my body hurt more and quite frankly, I thought it would go away when I had the baby. Unfortunately it did not, it got worse. I mentioned my hurting hand to my primary care doctor when I went to him for a sinus infection and he told me it was a pinched ulnar nerve. He suggested that I follow up with an orthopedist. Lucky for me Nicole has a whole team of orthopedists. The orthopedist sent me for an EMG and nerve study where my arm was repeatedly tasered. This fun test confirmed that my ulnar nerve was entrapped or pinched. It needed to be relocated in order for my numbness and waning grip strength would get better. I asked the doctor how this occurred and he asked me what I had been spending time doing over the past several months. Hmmmm - let me think - nothing, absolutely nothing but laying in bed for 14 weeks. He told me that laying in bed with my arm bent, reading and talking on the phone inflamed the nerve and caused it to become pinched. Seriously, they should warn a person about this side effect. They made me wear the awful foot pumps to ward off blood clots but there was no mention of pinched nerves that require surgery from laying down and reading books. In fact my doctor encouraged me to read books and made me stay in bed for weeks on end. I am really trying to find this whole thing quite comical. I sometimes think our family could be the subject of a sit-com.

On Tuesday morning Pat & Landry took me to the outpatient surgi-center to get my arm fixed. As the nurse was prepping me for surgery she pulls out these lovely foot pumps and starts to explain what they are. Pat stops her and tells her I know all too well what the foot pumps are because of my 5 1/2 week stay at Baylor, which is the cause of my being here for surgery. I tell her that I hate the foot pumps and that I never want to see them again. I am not sure why I loathe the foot pumps so much but they caused me endless frustration and somehow became the one thing I focused my negative thoughts on. Anyway, this sweet nurse promised me they would not connect them until I was asleep in the OR and would disconnect them before I woke up. As I was being wheeled into the OR I heard her tell someone not to connect the foot pumps until I was asleep. I am sure she is still laughing about my unreasonable hatred of the foot pump.

The surgery went well or so the doctor told Pat. It lasted a hour and 45 minutes, which was an hour longer longer than the Dr. said it would take. A nurse told Pat the anaesthesiologist had a hard time getting the tube down my throat which explains why my throat is super sore and the bruise on my jaw. I have a long incision on my arm but I am able to move my arm a little more each day and I am actually typing with both hands. The Dr said it will take several months for the numbness to completely go away because the nerve has to repair itself now that it is in its new location.

Eventually Pat will get his well deserved vacation after taking care of me and everyone else in our family.

What a week of celebrating it has been….

2008-08-08T10:32:00.008-05:00

The festivities began with a birthday bash for Matthew at Pappasitio’s where air conditioning woes continued to plague my family. Backing up for a moment – within the span of a week, not just any week but one of the busiest and hottest weeks on record, 2 of our AC units at home went out, Pat’s car overheated, the AC in his office malfunctioned and the back window of my car was stuck in the down position. I could write a whole blog about things malfunctioning but I won't. Back to dinner – when we arrived at dinner the area of the restaurant our table was in was hot – might as well have been outside hot. I told the waitress it was hot and she said the AC in this half of the restaurant was not working. I was not amused and told her that we would need to sit in the part of the restaurant where it was working. She was happy to move us because she did not want to be stuck working in the hot part of the restaurant. So it was a win-win situation! We enjoyed visiting with my relatives from out east & Matthew loved wearing the sombrero and standing on a chair while we sang an off key version of happy birthday!

On Friday we celebrated Elizabeth and her bridal party with a luncheon hosted by my sisters and myself. Elizabeth impressed us by how well she knew our brother. It was wonderful and relaxing and followed up by a fantastic rehearsal dinner. Pat’s mom and sister babysat Landry for us. Just think a year ago when Steven proposed to Elizabeth, we had no idea that we would have a need for a babysitter! I still get a chuckle when I think about how much our family has changed in a year.

I love this picture of my brother with all of his nieces and nephews right before the wedding. Steven is such a good sport with all of these kids! Can you see all of us mom's in the mirror?

Landry & I hanging out before the ceremony.....

I cannot put into words how beautiful Steven & Elizabeth’s wedding was. The venue was so pretty, the flowers were gorgeous, the bride was beautiful, the groom had the biggest smile plastered to his face and the cake was yummy! The minister was Steven’s high school minister and friend of the family – he did a great job making it a personal service. All in all it was a wonderful way to start a marriage. We wish you well as you begin your journey together.

Nicole & I after the ceremony.....

Matthew & Megan hanging out in a shady spot....

On Sunday we hosted brunch at our house for 30+ family and friends who attended the wedding. Thanks to my husband & sister Kathy for helping me get ready and doing their best to keep me calm. The kids enjoyed playing with all of their cousins. I am always amazed at how they interact with one another – even when they have not seen each other in months it is like they just played together the day before. I have fond memories of playing with my cousins and am glad that my kids will too. As soon as brunch was over, you have never seen 2 sisters kick it into high gear like Kris & I did. By 3 pm, my house was cleaned and Nicole & Matthew were packed & on the road to New Orleans for their cruise with my parents.

Look what I found.......

2008-07-30T06:44:00.003-05:00

At 5:10 this morning the dog started barking. It was a different kind of barking - the kind that says something is not quite right. Pat thought he was hungry & might not have been fed last night, which may in fact be true. I however, thought there might have been a man in a ski mask in the back yard. I turned the light on and did not see anything so, I decided it was safe to step outside to retrieve the dog food cup and get our poor dog some food. My heart skipped a beat or two and I screamed as soon as I opened the door. This is what I saw.

Hercules was so proud of himself. I was not.

Dead or in this case dying animals fall into the category of the man of the house's responsibility. So my man got the trash can, broom and a dust pan. The trash can was positioned just inside the doorway and my man swept this barely moving creature into the dust pan. I was proudly watching from a safe distance, the dog was curious, the creature was moving and guess what........he fell out of the dust pan onto the kitchen floor not once but twice. Once the creature was contained and disposed of in several trash bags, I got out the bleach and disinfected the entire area and then some.

We would like to know where this thing with really sharp teeth came from and what it is. Was he displaced from the field that is being turned into a neighborhood? Was he a free gift with purchase that came with the 4 yards of mulch our neighbors just got? Does he have a family that is looking for him?

12 Things I Love about Matthew

2008-07-28T21:33:00.002-05:00

In honor of Matthew's 12th birthday I wanted to list 12 things I love about him.

He loves God.
He loves his family.
He loves life.
He laughs often & deeply.
He is a good helper.
He is a great brother.
He loves to put things together
He sings, without realizing it, while he plays.
He is a good friend.
He is funny without trying and sometimes does not even realize it.
He is very observant and has a great memory.
He is great with directions.

I love you Matthew and am proud to be your mother.

Happy 12th birthday!

Middle of the night ramblings

2008-07-21T02:49:00.004-05:00

It is 2:45am and I have been up since 1:15am with a case of rice cereal gone wrong. Let me explain...

Landry's pediatrician told me I could start putting a small amount of rice cereal in her bottle when she was 3 months old to help with her reflux. I bought the box of cereal last week in anticipation of the big day. I'll admit I cheated & started a few days early because I was looking forward to the side benefit of better sleep from a baby with a little extra something in her tummy. Seeing that it is 2:45am and I am typing this, it seems my somewhat selfish plan has gone astray.
At 6pm I devised my plan....rice cereal in Landry's 6pm & 8pm bottles would equal a great night sleep. Landry struggled to drink her bottle because the rice kept clogging her low flow nipple. It was a sad sight to see her suck so hard to get absolutely nothing. I switched out the nipple for a "big girl" nipple made for 3 month old babies. The milk was flowing and poor Landry was drowning in it...she was so traumatized that she refused to eat. I switched to a different brand of bottle for her 8pm feeding and she was able to drink without drowning. Sweet success for a restful night was on my doorstep.

I was in bed at 11, thinking how nice it would be to sleep until the alarm went off at 5:30. I even had jealous thoughts thinking that Pat might get to sleep until 7 or 7:30. I couldn't have been more wrong. When I heard Landry start to fuss I looked at the clock and did not believe my eyes when I saw that it was just 1 something. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me so I rubbed the sleep out of them and checked the time again... .still 1am. Are you are kidding me? Doesn't our baby know that she is supposed to sleep longer with rice cereal in her tummy??? Pat began feeding her and she was fit- full and quite frankly, just not enjoying her food like she normally does. Was she having flashbacks to the drowning incident? A few moments later the blowout diaper occurred. No wonder she was having issues eating - it is hard to eat and poop at the same time. I cleaned her up, changed her jammies and Pat finished feeding her. They cuddled on the couch for awhile then Pat tried to put her back to bed. She would have none of it. She was wide awake and wanted to socialize then her tummy started to cramp really bad. So here I sit with my precious baby who is having intermittent intestional distress insteading of sleeping the night away. By the way, Mylecon & Gripe Water do not seem to be successful at counter-acting the ill effects of rice cereal.

Next rambling topic..... "Was this a planned baby?"
I have been asked this question many, many times and I have answered it many different ways. My responses have ranged from a simple "No" to a sarcastic "Seriously" - who plans to have a new baby when their youngest child is 11 - almost 12. I even told one person "yes - I thought it would be fun and interesting to parent a teenager, a pre-teen and an infant at the same time." I have even tried a more spiritual answer, "God planned it." I have recently become more pro-active and started saying, "This is our surprise baby." On Saturday I ran into the mother of one of one of Nicole's former teammates at a softball tournament and she said, I heard you got a "bonus baby." I kinda like the term bonus baby - these 2 words together really sum up our family situation nicely. Landry is a bonus - we can't imagine our family without her.

It is now after 4am... I am going to try my luck at putting my sweet angel in bed and see if I can get an hour of sleep before starting my Monday.

**Update**
I put Landry in her bed at 4:22am & Pat got up with her at 4:30am. She slept in his arms in 5-10 minute chunks of time in between crying fits due to lots and lots of tummy trouble. I feel pretty confident that I will not be putting rice cereal in her bottle tonight. My lesson from this experience......do not try new foods in the evening.

Too Busy & Too Tired

2008-07-18T12:00:00.004-05:00

Busy & tired are the words that best describe my current state. I feel like a hamster running on the big wheel. I am exhausted but I have to keep on moving even though I feel like I am having a hard time keeping all of the moving parts in my life moving. I don't really have time to blog but I want to at least post a quick update while I am eating lunch at work. Hopefully this will make some sense.

Work is busy - I have a pretty big project due on a tight timeline that just got tighter because of my upcoming arm surgery on Aug 5th. We are looking forward to and preparing for my brother's upcoming wedding. The kids activities have picked up the pace and keep me busy as their taxi driver. I enjoying taxing them around especially when I have just one of them with me because we end up having great conversations & can catch up in the car. Nicole is practicing with a couple of different softball teams and has tryouts for several new teams in the next several weeks. She is playing in a tourney this weekend with one of the teams she has been practicing with. Matthew starts football camp on Monday and is still going to Kumon twice a week and has drum lessons. Landry's activities consist of eating, spitting up, smiling, cooing and the occasional ill-timed blowout diaper. She, however, is the major contributor to the "too tired" part of my current state. Last night she woke up at 3 and was wide awake for the rest of the night. I know Landry is growing and changing everyday and I want the time to notice, cherish and enjoy the little and big changes because I know all to well that she will grow up in the blink of an eye.

Landry starts "school"

2008-07-08T12:10:00.003-05:00

Landry started school, aka day care, yesterday. Her first day went well for her. I hope & pray she was not too traumatized by it. I was a wreck. This is not our first child to send to day care so I knew it would be hard, very, very hard. I had to force myself to wait to call and check on Landry until she was there for 2 hours. Her wonderful teachers, Miss. Susan & Miss. Theresa, reported that Landry checked out all of her sleeping options….her bed, the various bouncy seats & their arms. Her day must have worn her out because she had a hard time staying awake for more than 10 minutes the rest of the afternoon and evening at home. I wish I could say that she slept thru the night but she did not. She needed to see us at 11, 3 & 6:30. I was happy to see her at 6:30 so I could give her lots of hugs and kisses before leaving. I was teary again on my way to work today. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara!!

Pat takes Landry to school in the morning because I go to work early and quite frankly I just can’t bear to be the one to leave her. I get to be the good parent who picks her up in the afternoon. Anyway, that is not the point of what I want to say. This morning Miss. Susan told Pat he was doing a good job for it just being day 2. Doing a good job entails putting Landry’s stuff in her cubby and filling out her daily checklist so they know when she was last changed and fed. Pat was very proud of himself and joked by saying, “Well, ya know this isn’t my first rodeo.” Twenty minutes later, after the school called and asked if Landry would need to eat today, he was turning his car around to go back home to get Landry’s bottles, which had been forgotten in our fridge. So much for this not being his first rodeo!

Long Lost Post......Road Trip - Part 2

2008-07-06T17:43:00.007-05:00

Pat is out of town for his annual trip to Shreveport with his fantasy football team and all three kids are tucked in for the night (I hope). Nobody is here to make me go to bed - so I'll stay up way to late like I always do when Pat is gone. I noticed that I had never posted this post I wrote a while back so here it is.......

Karen's version of the kayaking story.....

Nicole really wanted to go kayaking in the ocean while we were in Corpus. We found a rental place right on the beach by the USS Lexington & thought it would be cool to kayak with the USS Lexington in the back drop. The rental guy told the kids not to go too close to the ship or else they would think they were terrorists.

Could the US government really mistake 2 kids in a rented kayak for terrorists?

The kids and I had fun kayaking. After I successfully kayaked with each of the kids Pat and I were going to kayak together. Thus ensued the funniest part of our trip. Pat has a long standing balance problem. Everyone is aware of it except for him. His mom reports that he rode a bike into her mailbox and later drove a car into it. I digress. So, I am in the kayak and Pat climbs into the back and then right out the other side as he tips us over. I think no big deal, he'll get it next time. Eight overturns later I am laughing so hard that snot is coming out of my nose and Nicole is rolling on the beach laughing hysterically. She said several other beach goers were laughing as well. She told some lady that this was our eighth capsize and it was not getting old yet. If Nicole could have controlled her laughing she probably would have videoed the whole tragic event and posted it on U-Tube.

My friend Amanda always seems to have her camera on hand at all times and snaps pictures of random funny things. Seeing that we were on vacation, I actually had my camera with me when we saw some random funny signs. I just had to capture them and share them with you all.

Sausage and snow cones - now that is a combination I would not typically put together.

This sign was at the entrance to the Ghetto go cart park.

Do we look scary throwing gang signs? Nicole's make shift do-rag is actually a burp cloth. I failed to tell Nicole that Landry had just spit up before I gave it to her to put on her head! They also had a buzzer on the front door - you were supposed to ring it to get in but we were able to walk right in. We would have felt a bit better if the door was actually locked like the sign indicated.

Good times!!!

Road Trip - Part 1

2008-07-05T15:32:00.015-05:00

I am a bit behind in updating my blog due to our last minute road trip to the coast and my return to work this past week....I'll have to save that for another post.

First of all I have to say that I had completely forgotten that traveling with a baby requires you to pack the entire house even if you are just going to be away for 4 days. We just laughed at how full the car was and that 75% of the stuff belonged to the smallest member of the family!

We had a great time getting away - we joked, we laughed, we enjoyed the beach and some local attractions and we made some memories that will be with us for years to come.

Ten minutes after we left we returned home to find the directions to the condo. I just knew I had put them in the car somewhere but I could not find them. As soon as we pulled back into the driveway I found out that I was right, the directions were in the car......I was sitting on them! Now anytime a member of my family can't find something they ask, "Is mom sitting on it?" They are soo funny!

We arrived at our condo Friday afternoon, unloaded the car and were on the beach 30 minutes later. Landry napped in her stroller while the rest of us took turns riding the waves. Nicole worked hard writing Landry's name on the beach and a few rustic sand castles were built. The sand castles were rustic because I did not bring any sand toys that would have allowed the construction of fancy castles.

On Saturday we headed out to see the USS Lexington and the Texas State Aquarium. We thoroughly enjoyed exploring the Lexington. Matthew liked testing out all of the cockpits, we were all thrown in the brig and Pat & the kids rode in the flight simulator. Landry spent most of her time on the ship (not boat) sleeping in the Baby Bjorn. Landry managed to wake up to look at the fish at the Texas State Aquarium.

Pat & Matthew went bay fishing on Sunday and caught a few fish to bring home. Nicole declared that she will not be eating any of the fish they caught ('I'm not sure I will be either).

Grow baby grow

2008-06-26T23:24:00.003-05:00

Today was Landry's two month check up and she weighed in at a whopping 11 lbs and 2 ounces - well above average! At 2 1/2 weeks she was in the 52nd percentile for her weight and now she is in the 90th percentile. She grew 2 inches in length and is in the 75th percentile. Her doctor was impressed with her growth and pleased that she did not have a flat spot on the back of her head like so many babies get from spending time on their backs. I told him it was because she did not have the sunniest of dispositions just yet and is held almost all day long and many hours during the night. Landry got three shots. I am not sure who cried more - Landry, me or the nurse.

As my family and I were discussing Landry's doctors appointment we ended up on the topic of each of our secret weapons. Nicole's secret weapon is stinky feet, which can be transferred to her shoes and socks. One time she left her softball cleats and socks in my car overnight. I am still wondering what we did to deserve it. The poor car had to be aired out for days. Matthew's secret weapon is a toss up between toxic gas and morning breath that can kill. Pat's is definitely toxic gas. He has threatened to punish us all by unleashing this weapon while in the car with the windows locked. Trust me it would be ugly. The kids decided my secret weapon is my "mom look" or as we called it growing up "the evil eye". Every mom has one, but apparently mine is especially scary. For now Landry's secret weapon is crying that can clear a room. Last Saturday Pat's mom and sister, Linda, babysat while we attended a wedding. I have never seen them look so frazzled - the crying began shortly after we left and ended shortly before we arrived home. Don't feel bad Linda and mom - it began again after you left and lasted most of the night. The doctor said she will outgrow it - hopefully this month. When she does I am sure we will discover a new secret weapon.

So, what is your secret weapon?

The Boomerang Cooler

2008-06-24T15:40:00.005-05:00

I have been on a big organizing kick lately. I am not sure where the insane desire to organize the medicine shelf at 5am is coming from but for now I am going with it. After 5 years in this house it was due for a major weeding-out. Here is a list of the things I have cleaned out:

The game room closets
The medicine shelf in the kitchen & my bathroom
2 linen closets
The kids bathroom cabinets
The master bathroom cabinets
The t-shirt drawer in my closet - I finally parted with t-shirts from the 90's!
Matthew's closet
Matthew's dresser
1 Junk drawer
1 Junk cabinet
My PJ drawer
My tupperware cabinet - I have to admit that my sister-in-law Amy actually organized this for me because she could not stand the state of disarray it was in - Thank you Amy!
The refrigerator & freezer several times
Landry's closet & room (I had to remove the "guest room" items)

Matthew and I took a huge load of goods to the Keller Community Store House and I have another load ready to take. I still have a lot to do but it makes me happy when I open the drawer previously know as a junk drawer and see sharpies, tape and note pads neatly arranged. I know, I know, it is a sickness!

The part of my house that is in the most dire need for organizational help is the garage. I am not sure how we got to the point where only 1 car barely fits into a 3 car garage. I don't know exactly where to start and I don't have the desire or time to spend hours cleaning and organizing the 135 degree west facing garage. I decided that I could do a few small things like send obvious trash out to the trash pile. I filled a broken cooler with assorted trash and put it in the trash pile. The next day the cooler was back in its original spot in the garage. I thought I was loosing my mind so I asked Matthew if I had put it in the trash the day before. He said I did. The only reasonable explanation for it being back in the garage is that it became a boomerang cooler. Now that I know it is not just any old broken cooler I may just try to sell it on e-bay!

More Beaman Family Injuries......

2008-06-20T09:27:00.004-05:00

My sister in law, Amy, and my nephew, Ryan, are both sporting casts on their broken arms.

Ryan broke his arm in a bike incident. The bike won.

Amy sustained a terrible broken wrist while ice skating with a semi-pro ice skater, aka her husband Ted. The ice won.

The cast does not seem to slow Ryan down at all and he enjoyed having every one sign his cast, as long as we signed in the color of his choice. Amy on the other hand is going to win the "cleanest cast" award when her cast is removed. She ran from those with Sharpies in hand! Ted if you can't find a job in the restaurant world you should check out hair styling because you have been doing a great job styling Amy's hair for her.

What if......

2008-06-10T16:27:00.002-05:00

What if, what if, what if..... I am a planner so the "what if" phrase runs thru my head often. Some of my planning includes thinking of things that may or may not happen then trying to gauge my response, reaction and picture life on the other side of this event that may or may not even take place. This can be a dangerous trait, although I have told myself many times it helps me be prepared for the "what if" situations that inevitably fall into life.

Last fall I had genetic testing done on our then unborn baby, it was recommended because I was a mother of advanced maternal age. Due to my age, I had a relatively high (1/150) chance of having a baby with Downs syndrome. I was totally comfortable getting the test done and just knew that the test results would show improved odds. The thought of the results indicating an even higher likely hood of having a baby with Downs never really crossed my mind, but that is just what the results showed. I had not planned for or anticipated this. It totally caught me off guard. It was hard news to swallow, tears came, lots of them, but it was OK.

My doctor sent me to the Pernitalogist for a more advanced ultra sound and an amnio. I had no idea at the time how big a role these 2 doctors would play in my pregnancy. We were told the amnio was the only way to know for sure if the baby had Downs. I needed to know, so I could plan. I told my self I needed to do research, find the best pediatrician for this baby, prepare the kids and emotionally prepare myself. Pat and I signed the consent forms for the amnio and almost immediately I had doubts about having the test done. God was saying, "No, trust me." Pat was fine not having the amnio done and joked that he would not ask me to have a giant needle stuck thru my belly. His concern was for me, could I make it through the next several months not knowing, worrying and wondering. I did not know if I could.

God really takes care of things and makes his point of view well known sometimes and this was one of those times. During the ultrasound, Dr. Graham told us the baby was not in a good position for him to attempt the amnio. He asked us to come back in 10 days because he wanted to look at the baby again and would do the amnio then if we wanted to have it done. I knew we wouldn't be getting an amnio. I asked God to keep my mind occupied so I would not dwell on the "what ifs" this situation presented. He did and he also answered my "what if" question in a way that brought me wonderful peace.

What if she has Downs.........no mater what you will love her with all of your heart and she will bring you tremendous joy. Trust me.

Throughout the rest of my pregnancy I did not dwell on the possibility of Landry having Downs. I did think about it a time or two, but I did not dwell there. I did not do my normal thinking and planning for this "what if". I simply decided to trust and rest in the fact that God had ordained her life and that she was perfectly and wonderfully made even if she was not perfect in the worldly sense.

I wish I could say that my trust in God comes easily. It does not. I forget to lay my burdens at His feet. I forget to turn to Him first. I forget to seek comfort in His word even though I know it will comfort me. I "what if-ed" many other issues during my pregnancy. Some of them happened and others did not. Looking back I can say the only thing "what if-ing" did was to steal my joy. It did not prepare me for 39 days in the hospital. It did not prepare me for the isolation and loneliness I felt. It did not prepare me for leaving the hospital without my baby. I wasted time being upset and even crying about things that might not even happen. How pathetic. God has shown me over and over that His strength and grace are enough for any problem I face. I certainly do not need to spend time and energy dealing with "what if" situations. He knows what is coming my way. He will prepare me if I need preparing. He will surprise me if I need surprising. He simply asks for my trust. I have to choose to trust.

Pat-ism

2008-06-10T08:36:00.005-05:00

In all of my many years of watching kids sporting events I had never seen a coach and fan thrown out of a game until Saturday. Nicole's team was playing and Landry made her first appearance to see her big sister play. We also had my parents, sister Kim and brother Steven in attendance so they too were witnesses to one of the finer moments in sporting history.

The official called an illegal pitch, which meant our player on third base got to automatically score. The coach of the other team went ballistic. He yelled at the umpire and kept saying how ridiculous the call was. The umpire warned the coach not to say another word and told him to get back to the dugout. I guess the coach could not help himself and on his way back to the dugout he said another word. True to his word the umpire threw him out of the game and looked like he enjoyed doing it. Our side of the stands erupted with applause. Classy - huh?

As soon as the applause died down we heard the ump tell one of the parents on the other team that she needed to leave as well. She hollered something back and he told her that she had one minute. Shortly later my husband could be heard saying........

"Hey blue, I have a minute - five!"

Nicole receives the Gimpy Award at the dinner banquet with no food

2008-06-03T08:05:00.007-05:00

Nicole's softball banquet was Monday evening. On Sunday she asked if I would pick her up after school and take her shopping for an outfit to wear to the black and white themed banquet and to get a haircut. Nothing like waiting to the last minute! I of course eagerly agreed because I relish any opportunity when my nearly 15 year old daughter wants to spend time with me, even if it is just so she can get something for herself. Anyway going shopping is a big feat because there are many days when taking a quick shower is luxury I don't get. Going shopping on a Monday when I have to get Matthew to Kumon at 4 is next to impossible, but I was determined to pull this off for Nicole. Thank God for the baby swing which enabled me to get a shower and make it out the door by 1 PM, in time to pick up Nicole. We found a really pretty dress at Kohl's, which was our first stop then we found a place to get her hair cut. Nicole polished her toes, put on makeup, found a necklace of mine to wear and was ready to go. She looked fantastic inspite of the massive bruise on her shin. I insisted on pictures - I need something to remind me of the girly moments in her life as she mainly wears workout attire, t-shirts and jeans or a softball uniform.

Pat accompanied Nicole to the dinner where dinner was not served. An hour into the program a speaker said, "You may have noticed that there is not any food here......" Really, did they think it would go unnoticed? Apparently there was some type of snafu with the caterer. I think it is ok to call it a snafu when the caterer does not show up with the dinner that has been paid for. Once the program was complete the JV team decided to go to Double Dave's for pizza and to pass out their funny awards. Nicole received the "Gimpy" award which could also be called the girl most likely to show up on crutches, a leg brace or a with a sling......take your pick. Other noteable awards of the evening were the "most likely to save a life" award given to one of her teammates for her valiant attempt to save a dead bird encountered on a team run and the "fastest 10 minute team jog" award for the girl who sprints her way through the 10 minute jog. The girls had a great time and looked great all dressed up.

A Good Day for Matthew

2008-05-28T12:59:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a good day, make that a great day, for Matthew.
At 7:30 am Matthew's school called, which can be a scary call, but today it was a good one. One of the band instructors called to offer Matthew a spot on the percussion line and wanted to know if he would like to accept the position. Let me think....YES! Woo-hoo!!! Pat & I were so excited for him and ourselves. Pat was ready to go have "words" with the school if Matthew did not get to play the drums in the band. Matthew had to attend 2 tryouts for one of the coveted spots playing drums in the band. Apparently every boy that signs up for band wants to play the drums - go figure. The tryouts consisted of tapping your foot and playing a series of rhythms on your knee. I asked if Matthew could try out by playing an actual drum and the instructor told me that it would not be fair since the kids had not been taught how to play yet. I used this opportunity to tell him that Matthew did know how to play the drum and had been taking private lessons for nearly 2 years. We are excited and hope that this can be Matthew's "thing". I think every kid needs their "thing" to be good at and a group to be a part of. I thank God for answering this prayer for Matthew, he really cares about the details!
The second great thing came home in an envelope addressed to the parents of Matthew Beaman. The letter said he passed the Science TAKS test and more importantly he passed his Math re-test. Matthew was beaming with pride at his accomplishment and the knowledge that he would not have to go to summer school. We took him to Milwalke Joes for ice cream to celebrate. I don't think his struggles with school, especially Math, are behind us but this was a big weight off his (and our)shoulders and we wanted to make a big deal out of his accomplishment.

How does the vacuum work?

2008-05-22T13:18:00.005-05:00

I know it's been a while since I have used a vacuum - I think it was sometime in January. Don't worry, my house is not in danger of showing up on Clean Sweep or one of Oprah's dirty house shows. OK - the garage & linen closets might end up on one of these shows but not the entire house. We hired a cleaning lady who did a great job keeping this place up to par in my absence. Now that Landry has arrived & we are all living under one roof I thought I could take back the house cleaning responsibilities. I just can't figure out how to work this crazy vacuum. I thought I could carry a baby and vacuum at the same time. No such luck. Pushing this vacuum takes two hands - I don't remember it being quite so difficult. It is really hard to get good vacuum lines while trying to maneuver this contraption formerly known as a vacuum.

*If you can't tell from the picture, the handle has broken off the vacuum.

Lucy

2008-05-17T08:44:00.002-05:00

I had the privilege of attending my niece Lucy's memorial service on Thursday. It was absolutely beautiful and tender and heartbreaking and filled with joy all at the same time. The similarities to Carter's service were striking but so were the differences. This time the casket was pink, not blue. This time Ella walked with her parents as they carried Lucy's casket to its final resting place. This time the day was gray, reflecting the mood. This time there was rain - and it was OK. Actually, the rain seemed perfectly in place. It came as Micah carried his daughter with Kim and Ella beside him. I wept as I watched them take a walk that no family should take once let alone a second time. As we left to go to the church for a luncheon reception, beautiful streams of sunshine began to break through the clouds. It was as if God was saying it is well, Lucy is with me.

Later in the day, I was sitting on the couch with Ella and she asked to look at Landry's foot. I pulled her sock off and Ella gently clasped her foot and examined it very carefully. While looking at Landry's tiny pinky toe Ella very quietly said, "Lucy's little toe was smaller than Landry's." I was struck by how much a 5 1/2 year old had taken in and remembered about her sister whose time here with us was much too short. We can all learn from Ella to take time to notice the little details of creation. I am gratefull that our God created tiny toes, streams of beautiful sunshine and even rain.

The Loud One

2008-05-14T09:59:00.003-05:00

Less than one week at home & Nicole has begun calling Landry "Loud One". This is kinda funny because our family is loud & Nicole can certainly make her own voice heard. I guess Landry knows she needs to cry loud to be heard in this family.
The Loud One had a good doctor's appointment on Monday. I really liked the pediatrician I had never met before and picked on the recommendation of many nurses at Baylor. He was very thorough, spending 30 minutes with us. He was pleased with the progress Landry has made and we talked about a plan to wean her from Reglan, one of her medications, in a few weeks. She will continue taking the Zantac for several months.
Landry & I are going to leave for Oklahoma this evening with my brother Steven to attend our niece Lucy's memorial service. Pray that the Loud One travels well and sleeps for me while we are gone. Pat should be well rested with 3 nights of full sleep when we come home on Saturday!
I added music to my blog - Are you all impressed with my technological skills? You really should be because I am! Now if I could learn how to add a slide show.....

Landry sent herself flowers

2008-05-09T08:22:00.002-05:00

On Wednesday these beautiful flowers were delivered to our house to welcome Landry home. I cracked up when I read the card "Welcome home sweet baby. Love, Landry" First of all I think it is great that she referred to herself as a sweet baby. She is a sweet baby & I'm glad she has the confidence to proclaim it! Pat loved that she went third person. Where did she get the money to pay for flowers - she does not even have a purse? Did she call in the order from her toy cell phone?

My wonderful parents actually sent these flowers. The message on the card was supposed to say, "Welcome home sweet baby Landry. Love, Grandmama & Papa" My dad forgot to tell the florist the "Grandmama & Papa" part so they incorrectly thought the flowers were from Landry. My mom wanted me to throw away the card. Sorry mom, it is a keeper & will be going in her baby book.

Since Mother's Day is right around the corner I am going to take a minute to sing my mom's praises. My mom amazes me with her thoughtfulness and these flowers are a great example. I love flowers, they bring me joy & make me smile. Throughout my pregnancy complications my mom always made sure I had flowers. She sent them several times & took my kids to buy some for me when she was here (she actually sent my brother to the store with the kids to pick them out but she delegated the task). When the day came for me to leave the hospital without Landry it was the sight of another family coming out of their room with a cart loaded with many beautiful pink flower arrangements welcoming their baby girl that I really realized how different Landry's birth experience had been from the one I had dreamed about, felt entitled to & wanted. The cart of flowers represented one more thing we would not experience - a normal hospital departure. I could not make it to my room fast enough before the tears arrived. So thank you mom for sending us flowers to celebrate Landry's homecoming. My mom thought to do this & calls everyday for an update in the midst of taking care of my sister Kim's 5 1/2 year old & 23 month old kids while Kim is in the hospital. I love you mom - you're the best! You too dad.

Welcome Home Sweet Baby Landry

2008-05-07T14:24:00.006-05:00

We are praising God today at the Beaman house because our little girl is home after spending her first 13 days in the NICU. She is such a sweet baby and we are so glad to have her in our lives. We can't wait for you all to get to know her.

Her not so newborn pictures were taken yesterday and can be viewed at http://www.our365.com/ Just enter her birth date, April 25, and our hospital name, Baylor Grapevine, to see Landry's super cute photos. I ordered a bunch of pictures and should have them in about a week. I will try to upload all of my snapshots to snapfish or Kodak gallery this evening. I should be able to update my blog and pictures more often now that we are all home. I plan to start writing about the things I learned during this season of my life so stay tuned.

Happy Birthday Landry

2008-05-02T15:16:00.007-05:00

After 12 long weeks of bed rest - 39 days in the hospital where I had 2 baby showers, celebrated Easter & my birthday, Landry Elizabeth Beaman made her debut. Happy Birthday sweet girl! She was born on Friday April 25, 2008 at 7:54 pm. She weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and was 19 3/4 inches long. She is absolutely beautiful and remarkable. I love her so much I would endure it all again (yes even the Mag) for her.

I was blessed with a fairly quick labor and a super fast delivery. At 2 pm I finally decided it was time for Pat to come home and take me to the hospital. I was worried I would be sent right back home - after all I was just at my doctor’s office a few hours ago and he was not sure if this was the real thing or not since I was always having contractions. We made it to the hospital at 4 pm, I was checked, told I would have a really fast delivery, admitted to the hospital and moved to the big labor/delivery/recovery room (I guess long stays come with privileges)! My nurse called for an epidural but before the epidural man made it in Dr. White came in and broke my water and predicted birth before 10 PM. The contractions got kinda nasty at this point and I was really happy to see the epidural man. It took a while for it to take effect and almost as soon as it did I was 10 cm dilated. Dr. White was paged and my nurse and Pat saw him pull up in the parking lot a few minutes later. My nurse said he better start walking faster or he would not make it in time. I could not believe it was happening so fast - I had not had Pat rub my feet or back yet and now I was out of time! Dr. White walked in the room and as the nurse was putting a gown on him he asked me for a little push then told me the head would be out with the next push. Sure enough it was. I had to push one more small push to deliver her body. As soon as I saw her little body I was absolutely overwhelmed with love for her and also knew instantly that something was not quite right.

Due to the fact that I was delivering at 36 weeks the NICU team including a respiratory therapist was in the delivery room (I think they arrived before the doctor). Landry was a bit blue gray & purplish in color when she was born and the NICU team worked on her for a little bit before handing her to me. They were concerned with her breathing because she was grunting and pulling in to get air. When I held her I was pretty scared because it seemed to me she was really grasping for air. They took her back and worked on her for a little longer before deciding to take her to the NICU. Pat went with Landry as the doctor continued to stitch me up. I had a pretty bad internal tear by my urethra and had to have a catheter put in. We were originally told Landry's breathing issues were caused by fluid in her lungs which was not expelled during my quick delivery and that she would be watched in the NICU for a few hours, bathed then brought to my room. At 1:30 am the neonatologist came into my room and said they were keeping Landry in the NICU because he thought pneumonia and underdeveloped lungs in addition to fluid may be causing her breathing difficulties. I was truly dumbfounded and taken aback about all of this - I had 4 steroid shots for her lung development and was given IV antibiotics during labor and delivery and when I was on MAG to prevent infections in her little premature body. This was not the end to our long journey I had envisioned. I could not sleep a wink even though I had been up since 4 am and given pain medication. I prayed for her for hours and reminded myself that God had a plan for her little life and I thanked God for the miracle of her life. At 4:30 am I asked Pat to get a nurse so I could go see my precious baby. They wheeled me & my bag of pee to the NICU - I'm sure it was not a pretty sight but I had to see my girl. I was not able to hold her because her little heart was beating too fast, and her oxygen levels were not stable. The nurse explained that any stimulation - touching & holding caused her heart to beat even faster. I felt better seeing her but I was still longing to hold her in my arms. I remember telling her I was so sorry over and over again that my body would not allow her to stay put longer and that I had been selfish and cheated during my last week of bed rest. I did not want my sweet baby girl to start her life this way.

Mid-day Saturday Landry's nurse said she thought Landry needed to be held by her mommy and that her mommy needed to hold her. It was wonderful pure joy to hold her in my arms and against my chest. Landry responded well to being held against my chest skin to skin and was the most stable she had been since arriving. Her blood counts looked good (no pneumonia) but she had not wet her diaper and was getting very puffy - especially her eyes. She was being fed thru a feeding tube because she could not handle a bottle and nursing was out of the question because it takes too much energy. They explained the respiratory distress causes the digestive tract to slow down or not work - it takes too much energy & all of Landry's energy was being used to breathe. We needed a few things to happen - Landry's breathing needed to slow down - her initial goal was to stay below 70 and ultimately below 40. Her respiration rate was well over 100. We also needed her oxygen level to stay above 85. We needed her to start peeing & pooping. We had faith in the nurses and doctors treating Landry but our greatest faith is in God, the ultimate physician.

We had lots of visitors on Saturday & Sunday. It was hard to not have Landry in my room so we could share her with everyone. I think God kept me busy and my body was functioning on pure adrenaline - I did not have time to really process what was going on. I was told I had to be discharged from the hospital on Sunday but I could stay without care for no charge for another night or 2 as long as they had rooms available. This is an amazing service Baylor provides to moms with babies in the NICU. I took advantage of their offer and stayed until 10:30 pm on Tuesday. Pat wanted me to stay longer but I knew I needed to face the inevitable but dreaded drive home without my baby. I was too exhausted to cry or feel any emotions at all. I was pretty numb. I was back at the hospital for Landry's 9 am feeding on Wednesday.

When I arrived at the hospital on Wednesday, I was greeted by one of the neonatologists and told that Landry was making slow but steady progress with her respiration rate and her oxygen level was stabilizing. Thank you God! He planned to start weaning her from the oxygen and feeding tubes over the next few days. He then told me he was concerned with the number of “Brady’s” she was having and her climbing bilirubin level. A Brady is a slang term for some really big medical word that means she stops breathing. The doctor thought it was being caused by reflux, which is common in premature babies so Landry would begin taking 2 meds. I have been with Landry when she had some of the Brady’s and let me just say they are scary. All of a sudden she just stops breathing and her heart rate drops causing the alarm on her monitor to go off and she starts turning blue around the lips. We have to gently nudge her or pat her on the back to get her to start breathing again. On Wednesday Landry started sunbathing under the special lights to help with her Jaundice. I think it also lightened her hair a bit! Because of her phototherapy, we were only allowed to hold her once every 3 hours for her scheduled feeding time. This was particularly hard for me since all I wanted to do was hold my baby. Once again God gave me the strength to see the blessings that this day presented. I enjoyed the blessing of feeding Landry – I managed to get her to drink from her bottle. (It is way better than a feeding tube!) I know it might sound a bit weird but I truly savored every minute of feeding her and changing her diapers. In the midst of the NICU I felt like a regular mom taking care of my newborn baby.

I was exhausted when I arrived home Wednesday evening and had just lain down on the couch when my mom called and gave me the most troubling news about my pregnant sister Kim. Kim went in for a regular prenatal appointment and the doctor discovered fluid buildup in the baby’s abdomen. The prognosis is not good and once again we are asking God to deliver a big miracle for a baby in our family. You can read Kim’s story & keep up to date with her progress in her blog. I ask you all to pray for Kim, baby Lucy and the rest of her family during this difficult time.

Landry and I had a heart to heart talk on Thursday. I’ll admit I did most of the talking…..she is a really good listener. I told her that it was time for her to turn the corner and really start to fight. I told her about her cousin, baby Lucy, and let her know that only 1 baby in the family was allowed in the NICU and her time in the NICU needed to come to an end really soon. Landry listened to me and really started to rally Thursday afternoon. She had a great day on Friday and the doctors and nurses told us she might get to go home on Monday if she continued to do so well. She is amazing and had another good day on Saturday. On Sunday, May 4th, the doctor told us she was making good progress but wanted to keep her until Wednesday May 7th to ensure she did not have any more Brady’s. As much as we want her home we understand and appreciate the doctor being conservative. We were later told she had another Brady during the night but self recovered. Self recovery is a good sign. Landry still struggles a bit with eating and chokes from time to time but recovers with a few pats on the back.

I am looking forward to bringing Landry home and having all members of our family living under one roof. I was looking at some pictures of Landry and was amazed at how much she has already changed - she looks so much healthier now than she did. I have enjoyed every minute I spent with her in the NICU. I absolutely adored sitting and holding her and getting to know her sweet personality without the distractions, like laundry, that arise at home. She likes to hold her hands by her face, enjoys propping her legs up on blankets in her bassinet, makes the cutest baby sounds and she looks really good in pink! Towards the end of her stay she began to have some wonderful alert times. She opens her cute little eyes and looks around like she is taking everything in and has something to say about it all.

I can not say enough about how wonderful the nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, and staff at Baylor Grapevine were – they were all so caring and compassionate. Knowing that Landry was in such good hands made the hard job of leaving her every day a little bit easier. We are grateful for all that our family, friends, church & neighbors have done for us over the last several months. God has richly blessed our lives through all of you.

Love you all, Karen

36 weeks & 3 Days

2008-04-25T12:25:00.003-05:00

A month ago I would have never thought I'd make it to 36 weeks and here I am today 36 weeks & 3 days! I am absolutely overjoyed, amazed and thankful for the grace God has shown us that we have made it this far.
I went to see Dr. Vaughan this morning and the sonographer estimated Landry's weight at 5 lbs & 9 oz, which is right on track. My perinatologist estimated her weight at 6 lbs on Monday. I have to remind myself that these measurements are just estimates and can be off a little bit. I had a little bit of a scare during the sono - Landry was so still and the sonographer could not get her to move. She asked me when I last felt her move and I could only remember feeling her move while I was monitoring from 9-10 PM last night. She finally moved her little hands after what seemed an eternity - it was really only 20 minutes but it sure felt a lot longer. I don't need anymore scares with this pregnancy.
I told my nurse that I had been having fairly regular contractions since 4 AM so Dr. Vaughan decided to check my cervix. It is gone - I am fully effaced and a good 3 cm dilated. He said some people can be at a this stage for a few days so it does not necessarily mean I am going to deliver today. He had me stop my Terbutaline pump and told me I could get up and do a few light things around the house. I wonder if planting flowers, which I did at 8 PM last night, and hosing off my patio, which I did at 7:30 this morning, count as light things around the house!!! Dr. V does not want me venturing far from the hospital. He gave me a 30 minute radius - depending on the time of day my leash will only reach 5 - 10 minutes away from my house.
I left his office and headed to Babies-R-Us to buy a bedding set for the crib then went to Macy's to get some Clinique for Nicole. I really wanted to go to a few more stores including the grocery store but my contractions were getting stronger and closer together so I decided it was best to go home. My desire to get things in order has been absolutely crazy - earlier in the week I organized the freezer - yes I am a dork but I feel much better about knowing what is in my freezer and knowing where things are. Today I got out of bed at 6 AM and organized my medical bills, insurance statements and short term disability paperwork, paid the bills, hosed off the patio and watered my newly planted flowers, made eggs and bacon for breakfast, wrote 6 Thank you notes, showered and started a load of laundry all before leaving for the doctor's office at 8:45. I need to end this so I can go fold my laundry & pack up my home monitoring device while I continue to time contractions. Who knows today could be Landry's birthday. If it's not I will continue to look forward to meeting her and holding her in my arms in the near future.

I'm home!

2008-04-17T10:47:00.006-05:00

This is a long overdue update so I will apologize in advance for the length.

I came home from the hospital Thursday April 10th - I was admitted on March 4th for a grand total of 39 days. Boy are we glad to have that behind us. When I went to the hospital the grass was still brown & the trees had no leaves. On the drive home, I was amazed at how beautiful the green grass, flowers and budding trees looked. Spring is my favorite time of year and I am looking forward to the day I can dig in the dirt and plant some flowers. I am still on complete bed rest at home but I will have to admit to "cheating" a little bit. I can't help it - the nesting instinct is so strong & the baby's room keeps calling my name.

The last week in the hospital was by far the absolute hardest week I endured. Most of you know the story but I am going to include some of the details in order to preserve my memories. Ya never know when a pre-teen or teenager might need to be reminded of all her family did to bring her safely into this world!!! haha

On Monday March 31st my medical team decided to increase my dose of Procardia. By late Monday night I was having a very hard time with the increased medicine. I had increased swelling especially in my left hand and foot, my feet and hands were tingly and numb feeling but the worst was the crushing pain I was feeling in my chest and back. I felt like weights were pressing on both sides of my chest and it was becoming hard to breathe. On Tuesday morning the doctor decided to discontinue my higher dose of Procardia since my body was not tolerating it. I felt pretty yucky all day as the level of Procardia in my system decreased.

Wednesday April 2nd started as a good day. I could breathe, which was nice, and I was feeling more like myself. Dr. Vaughan was the on call dr and said he was targeting April 10th as my release date as long as I did not have any issues between now & then. I was excited that the light at the end of the tunnel was finally in sight!

Wednesday evening everything changed. During my evening monitoring session I had 5 contractions during a 35 minute monitoring session. This was not good news because I am only "allowed" to have 4 in an hour. The nurse had me do a demand dose of Terbutaline. No luck the contractions continued to increase in intensity & frequency. I had my midnight dose of Procardia & aTerbutaline bolus (big dose delivered every 4 hours). Still no luck - the contractions continued. My nurse called the on call dr and at 3am they started an IV to do a fluid push. The hope was the extra fluids would help relax my uterus. Guess what - still no luck. I had not slept more than 30 minutes all night and it was only in 5- 10 minute chunks between contractions. I was exhausted, scared and in pain.

So now it is Thursday morning April 3rd.... Dr Vaughan came in and said he did not like what he was seeing and had no choice but to start me on Magnesium Sulfate - know as "MAG" in the OB world. MAG is a smooth muscle relaxer and can only be given in the hospital via IV. Ideally it stops the uterus from contracting and flushes all of your other anti-labor meds from your system. In my case the doctors believe the Terb & Procardia had become ineffective at holding labor at bay because I had been taking them so long and built up a tolerance for them. When the MAG is discontinued 24 hours later the hope is the Terbutaline & Procaria will become as effective as they were in the beginning.

Now that the boring medical stuff is out of the way I want to highlight my personal experience on MAG. My nurse came in and told me I would be getting a new nurse dedicated to me for the day - this should have been a clue as to how bad my already bad day was going to get. Pat wanted to come up and be with me but I told him to go to work because I would be fine. I will admit I was so very very wrong! They start MAG off with a big push to get it into your system and then you are on a steady drip for the rest of the day. Just as my new nurse, Christine, was starting the MAG my new friend Amanda from church arrived. Amanda has traveled down a very similar road to mine and has experienced the joys of MAG and weeks in the hospital herself. She can totally relate to my experience. I know God placed Christine & Amanda in my life and hospital room at just the right moment to take care of me. As soon as the MAG entered my body I began to feel like I was being warmed from the inside out - I could not get the covers off fast enough and I wanted to rip my clothes off. Amanda & Christine got a bunch of wet wash clothes to try to cool me off and then I felt like I was choking, began throwing up and had the dry heaves. It was absolutely awful but fortunately it did not last too long.

Once the initial dose is in your system they say it should make you sleepy (I already was) and I was looking forward to some shut eye. Unfortunately I kept having strong contractions throughout the day and all night and I am a girl who cannot sleep through intense pain. Because MAG is a muscle relaxer it made me feel paralyzed - I kind of felt like I was buried or being held underwater. I had to tell myself to just breathe and if I needed to move I had to consciously think about which body part needed to do what. It was so weird. I had the chills then would be so hot I could not stand it and it was hard to do anything about it because it took such an effort to move. I was on a restricted diet of clear fluids while on MAG. All meals consisted of jello and either chicken or beef broth - fortunately I was not hungry at all. Dr. Vaughan came in again in the evening to check on me but I really have no idea what I said to him or what he said to me, I just recall him looking at me quizzically and asking me what I was trying to say. Pat left work early to come see me and I could barely carry on a conversation; he later told me my speech was very slurred (no wonder Dr. V had no idea what I was trying to say). I remember feeling relieved and comforted knowing that Pat was sitting by my side.

Every few hours the blood people had to come collect a sample of my blood to make sure the level of MAG in my system was not getting too high. It can cause kidney failure, fluid build up in the lungs and eventually kill you if it gets too high. The ideal level is 6-7, if it gets to 8 they have to dial back your dose. At one point the lab called my nurse and told her that I was clinically dead because my MAG level was 31 (apparently heart failure occurs at 25). She came in and called the lab and assured them I was indeed still breathing. She noticed the band-aid on the same arm as my IV and realized the blood girl took blood just inches from where the MAG was entering my system so the reading was super concentrated. Apparently blood must be taken from the opposite arm for an accurate reading. I still have a bruise on my arm from all of the blood collecting.

By Friday morning, April 4th, I was still contracting and my medical team was concerned that I would go into active labor as soon as the MAG was turned off at 10am. My Terbutaline was re-started at 9am and I prayed so hard that it would work. Let me just say I was going to be very very upset if all of this MAG stuff did not work. By 8:30 my contractions finally started to spread out. My nurse informed me that they would re-start the MAG in a few short hours if my contractions started to pick back up. I was not sure I could take another round. I was physically and mentally exhausted and I really needed & wanted a shower. Within an hour or so of coming off MAG I began to feel much less paralyzed but it took most of the weekend before I really felt better. It is like the end of a hard illness - you know you are over the hump but still don't feel great. By the grace of God my contractions did not pick up and the Terbutaline seemed to be working. MAG is horrible and should be avoided if at all possible.

On Saturday evening, April 5th, Pat's family came to the hospital to celebrate Amy & my birthdays. I was allowed to go eat with them in the cafeteria and then everyone packed into my room to open gifts and visit. I was great to see everyone but I was still not feeling very good and was really shaky.

Saturday night into Sunday (4/6) I did not sleep very well and was having intense cramping and pelvic pressure. I told my nurse at 11 pm and again at 6am. She told me it was a common for this stage in pregnancy. At 8am my day nurse came in and said I did not look like I was feeling good - I told her about the intense pain I was having & she immediately hooked me up to the monitor. I was having contractions 1-2 minutes apart. Within 15 minutes she called the dr on call and assured me they were on top of things. I got a demand dose of terbutaline but it did nothing. The nurse let me know the dr was on his way up to the hospital to check on me. I called Pat and told him Landry might be trying to share my birthday with me! The on call dr, Dr. Neal, was very nice and told me he wanted to avoid putting me back on MAG and would like to try giving me a shot of terbutline in addition to increasing my regular dose. Unfortunately the first shot did nothing and they proceeded to give me 2 more shots within the hour. After the 3rd shot my contractions finally began to space out but I was shaking like a leaf in a Texas wind storm. Happy Birthday to me! Around 3 in the afternoon my contractions were starting to pick back up...........3 more shots of terbutaline over 1 1/2 hours did the trick again. Thank God my contractions did not pick back up & my day as a human pin cushion was finally behind me.

I was worried that Dr. Vaughan was not going to let me go home on Thursday due to all of the craziness that occurred since he gave me the target release date of April 10th. I was really beginning to go stir crazy. My sweet nurses told him if he didn't let me go home I might just throw something at him! On Wednesday he told me he wanted me to have one more sono done by the perniatologist and if they cleared me he would let me go home. The sono on Thursday morning went well and Dr. Vaughan was true to his word and let me go home. Of course he made me promise to be on strict bed rest (I was crossing my fingers-ha!)

I cannot put into words how good it felt to walk into my house. Getting to see my family every day is such a treasure - I don't ever want to be away from them for so long! It amazes me how we take the simple things in life for granted and do not realize what a blessing they are. On my second day home Matthew, Nicole & Pat played basketball and hit softballs & baseballs for a few hours after school & work, which is something they had not had time to do since I left home. Matthew came in and gave me a sweaty hug and told me for the hundredth time how happy he was to have me home & how much fun it was to just get to play. Pat commented on how nice it was to have time to just play with the kids instead of rushing everyone out the door to go to the hospital to see me. It is wonderful to get back to some sense of a "normal" life. I have a new understanding and soft spot in my heart for families who are faced with much longer medical issues than we were.

Day 28 in the Hospital

2008-03-31T13:20:00.002-05:00

Wow, I can hardly believe that I have been here for 28 days. Overall the time has gone by faster than I expected but there are some days and nights that seem to go on with no end in sight. I am thrilled that I will be 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow - there have been times we did not think I would make it this far. We are praying that I will make it another 3 weeks. Dr. Vaughan is still planning to release me from the hospital after I pass the 34 week milestone next week and he will not do anything to try to stop labor once I reach 35 weeks. He said there are only a few things that would cause him to keep me here pass 34 weeks. I am trying not to get my hopes up and will only really believe I am going home when we are in the car!
As much as I want to go home before Landry arrives I am also a little scared to be at home. I will be restricted to total bed rest and will still be on my terb. pump and will have to take Procardia every 6 hours. Yesterday I got to go downstairs for an hour and a half to attend my baby shower, which was wonderful, but my body has been paying the price for it ever since. All I did was sit in a chair, chat with my friends and open some presents. I was so tired when I got back to my room and was having more contractions, irritability, intense pelvic pressure and crampiness than my normal and my back was incredibly achy - I could not get comfortable. When the dr came in this morning he decided to increase my Procardia dose to see if we could quiet my overactive uterus down. I don't like Procardia - it gives me a headache and I am incredibly light headed and tired. I know I sound like I am whining, which I am, but this is the source of my frustration and I think it may help to express it. If this happens in the confines of the hospital I can only imagine what will happen at home where I will have to be up more often than I am here. I am also beginning to be concerned with how long it may take to rebuild my strength once Landry is born. Heck, will I even have the strength to make it through labor? Some days I don't even want to get up to take a shower because I know how worn out I will be afterwards. If you know me well you know that I absolutely hate to go a day without showering!
Now that I have unloaded my frustrations I will say that I do feel completely blessed to still be carrying Landry. I thank God for each day we make it. As a mother when you see your child sick, hurt or suffering you wish you could trade places with your child and take away their pain. I remind myself many times throughout the day and night that I am doing this for Landry. This is the only opportunity in her life and mine that I will be allowed the honor of doing this so I will persevere as long as God will allow. If I was not doing what I am doing I know she would be in the NICU.
On a good note - last week my Preinatologist estimated Landry's weight at 4 lbs, which is right on track. Her heart beat looks great every day when we are monitored and she does not seem to be stressed by all of the contractions and irritability. SHe makes her pressence know by kicking me and rolling around. The other night the nurse could see the outline of her foot as she was trying to kick the monitors off. I told Nicole Landry might be a soccer player but Cole insists that she will be teaching her little sister how to play softball as soon as she can!!

Thank you all for your support and prayers.
Love ya all, Karen

This week....

2008-03-20T19:56:00.003-05:00

Today is day 17 for me at Baylor and it seems I will be her a few more weeks as I have had a few setbacks this week. In addition to my "Concerning" cervix & preterm labor I now have a "marginal" placenta. It seems my placenta has shifted & is now low lying and I have a small blood clot covering my cervix. My contractions became much more regular and we were having trouble controlling them on Sunday & Monday so my dr increased my terbutline dose & started me on Procardia to help relax my uterus. It seems to be working but it also makes me really sleepy and lowers my blood pressure. Dr. Vaughan is ok with me being sleepy as long as it makes my uterus sleepy as well. I seem to have stabilized again, which is good. We are still striving for the 34 week mark - April 8th.
Today Dr. Vaughan surprised me today by allowing me to have a 30 minute wheel chair ride. A 77 year old hospital volunteer wheeled me all over the hospital and outside. She was a hoot - I think we ran into every single door frame & hit 3 people's ankles. It was her first time to take a patient on a wheel chair ride. It did a lot for my sanity to breathe some fresh air & see the sun.
Love ya all, Karen

A Long Overdue Update

2008-03-16T22:52:00.003-05:00

I have not been able to update my post in quite some time due to my "concerning" cervix misbehaving & landing me an extended stay at Baylor Grapevine Hospital's Ante-partum section aka the bad cervix wing. Today marks day 13 of my stay. Pat brought me his laptop this afternoon so I could check e-mail & update my blog. I have been keeping a daily journal which helps me keep track of what has been going on here as the days tend to run together. I am going to share some of what has been going on for the past 13 days.

I woke up on March 4th and just did not feel quite right - there was nothing specific I could put my finger on, just a general sense that something was a bit off. I left the house to go to my Perinatologist appointment expecting a routine appointment and to be home an hour later. I did not realize that I had reached a negative turning point in my pregnancy until Dr. Payne kept re-measuring my cervix. He asked if I was having a contraction & I told him I didn't feel anything. He was not happy with my answer and said I was not only having a contraction but he was seeing it shorten my cervix. Yikes! He measured my cervix at 1.9-2 cm and said it was even shorter as I contracted. He told me he was sending me over to L&D at the hospital & was calling Dr. Vaughan. I initially thought I was just going to be there for a few hours. I had an extremely blond moment when Dr. Payne said he would re-check my cervix on Thursday (2 days later) - I asked if I should make an appointment before heading over to L&D. He shook his head & said that would be necessary so I followed up by asking if I should come over to his office at a specific time. I was not getting it.....he explained that when I was in the hospital he would come to see me there. It was finally starting to sink in - I would not be home for dinner.

Dr. Vaughan came to see me the next morning, Wednesday 3/5, and asked what I did over the weekend to end up in the hospital. Oh how I wish I had done something fun - I actually spent the weekend on the couch & in bed. Had I know I might have gone to Target, gotten a desperately needed haircut or pedicure. He informed me I would probably be here until I was 32-34 weeks. This information fell on deaf ears because I was still holding out hope that I would be home for the weekend. Didn't he care that my parents & sisters were coming from Oklahoma for the weekend to visit & to attend my baby shower. I really wanted to be at home!!! After speaking to one of the neonatologist, much thought & prayer I finally accepted the fact that this was the best place for me to be and I would not be home for a few weeks. It was a low point for me. God validated my thoughts later in the day when Pat told me he had come to the same conclusion. We both had peace about it although we knew it was going to be an extremely tough couple (3-5) weeks.

One of my nurses told me we could hold my baby shower here at the hospital - she booked the room & got Dr. Vaughan to approve a 1 hour pass so I could attend. My dear friend April, who had her family room & kitchen painted and house cleaned in time for the baby shower, was a good sport about moving the baby shower to the hospital at the last minute. She did a great job making the unconventional shower really special, beautiful and memorable. I was great to see so many friends and family.

I will try to give you a glimpse into a typical day for me here at the hospital, although there is really not a typical day. I have to be hooked up to a baby heart rate monitor & uterine monitor to detect contractions at least twice a day for 30 - 45 minutes. They keep me on it longer when I am contracting, which has become a bit more frequent. The nurses check all of my vital signs & ask a litany of questions of a very personal nature 2-3 times a day. Either Dr. Vaughan or one of his partners check on me each day at various times. Some times they come as early as 7am (or a few minutes before) and other times it is as late as 3 in the afternoon. The perinatologist sends for me twice a week to do a sonogram of the baby & then of my cervix. I affectionately have deemed these days "field trip day" since it is the only day I get to leave my room. Sometimes the field trip is first thing in the morning, sometimes at noon & on the snow day it was at 3:45pm. I never know when a good time to take a shower is going to be!! I have to wear these crazy foot pumps all day long to help keep blood clots at bay - I had a Doppler scan done last weekend because Dr. V was concerned that I was getting one. So far I don't have one - I pray it stays this way. I started getting a series of 4 steroid shots on Saturday, 3/15, to help develop Landry's lungs. This is an extremely helpful thing we can do in case she arrives early. The nurses and all of my doctors are extremely nice and caring.

Pat & I want to express our heartfelt thanks to all of you have been praying for us, called, visited, sent meals, helped us with our kids in a number of ways, brought me flowers, diet cokes with ice, lunch, books & all sorts of goodies. We truly feel loved & thank God for each of you every day. We can not imagine going through this with out you all demonstrating Christ's love & being his hands & feet. We are blessed.

Love to you all, Karen

Here's Landry at 28 weeks & 3 days

2008-02-29T12:57:00.008-06:00

I had my third dr appointment of the week and part of it included a 3D ultra sound. I know I may be biased but I think Landry is absolutely adorable!!! She is using the placenta as a pillow and looks as content as can be.

My appointment went fairly well - my cervix measured at 2.4 cm, which is a little shorter than it was on Monday. Dr. Vaughan said he liked Dr. Graham's measurement from Tuesday better (as did I) but was happy it was not back down to 2cm. So we will continue doing what we are doing and I will see Dr. Graham on Tuesday.

It is a beautiful day here so I am going to lay out by the pool this afternoon and enjoy some fresh air and a good book.

Karen

Happy at home

2008-02-27T10:20:00.005-06:00

Sunday was such a rough day for our family.......Nicole hyper-extended her knee during a softball game - after a trip to the ER she was in a leg brace & on crutches. Pat & I were really feeling the weight of everything and the word "enough" was all I could think. I know the saying "God won't give you more than you can handle" and I have shared those words with others many times. I have a new perspective on this somewhat overused phrase. Sometimes life gives you more than you can handle but through the strength of our heavenly father we get through these tough times. My prayers on Sunday were for strength for our family to deal with the challenges we are currently facing & those to come. I have not been sleeping well since I started on the Terbutline - I sleep lightly from 11- 1 or 2am and then have not been able to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. I feared I would not sleep at all on Sunday night but God blessed me with a very restful night - I only woke up at 1am and was able to fall right back to sleep and slept until 5:30am. This might not sound good to you but it was wonderful for me & I physically felt so much better than I had in days.
As I was getting ready for my Perinatologist appointment on Monday morning, I was thinking about packing a few essential items for the hospital because I was pretty sure I would not be coming home. I didn't pack a bag and the whole way to the Dr's office I regretted not doing so - I made a mental list of the things I would need to send Pat home to get for me. The appointment went better than either one of us expected. Dr. Graham measured my cervix at 2.8 cm, which is much better than the 2.0 it was on Friday. Apparently the top part of my cervix is pliable and was much wider on Friday but had come a bit back together on Monday. Who knew this could happen!!! He estimated Landry's weight at 2 lbs & 11 oz. Pat & I left his office feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. I have a new found happiness to be on bed rest at home! God is so wonderful in answering our prayers in such a big way. On Tuesday I had an appointment with my OB, Dr. Vaughan, he was pleased with Dr. Graham's report & is going to let me stay at home for the time being!!! My 2 doctors will keep close tabs on me - I will see Dr. Graham every Tuesday & Dr. Vaughan every Friday. I am finally feeling confident that we can reach the 34 week mark.
Nicole saw the Orthopedist yesterday & he determined she stretched a ligament in her knee & has a bone bruise but did not tear a ligament. He gave her a smaller knee brace & told her she should be off the crutches by the weekend. We are gratefull her injury is not worse. She is disappointed to be missing a few weeks of her softball season. Please pray for a speedy recovery for her.
We are blessed by such wonderful family, friends, church family & neighbors. Pat & I do not have the words to express our thanks for all you have done to help us out - we could not get through this without each of you.
Love to all - Karen

"Concerning"

2008-02-23T04:16:00.002-06:00

I think the word "Concerning" should be used when referring to things like world peace, wars, natural disasters and similar but it should certainly not be used when referring to my cervix. Over the past few weeks the one piece of good news I have been hanging on to is the length of my cervix. Although my cervix was "V-ing", slightly funneling & shortening Dr. Vaughan assured me that it would not be too "concerning" as long as it stayed above 2.5 cm. At my appointment yesterday, I was told that my cervical length was now "concerning" because it shortened from 2.9 to 2 in a week. This earns me a trip back to the Perinatologist on Monday morning and a follow-up with Dr. V on Tuesday. Dr. V. told me my "concerning" cervix might just earn me an extended stay at Baylor Grapevine Hospital. Please pray that it does not come to that point - I will do whatever is best for the baby but it will be so hard not to be at home with my family.
I have some news to share about the baby we have been calling Red Baby, Pink Baby, Little Miss & Ladybug - she has a name! Her name is Landry. Are we the only ones with so many nicknames for our unborn baby?? Landry's estimated weight is aprox. 2.1 pounds and she flipped into a breach position. I got a kick out of seeing her on the sonogram yesterday.....she was in a V shape with her little feet by her head. She would bend her knees & then kick both legs out straight, all while staying in her V shape position. It reminded me of a dolphin kick & felt like one too.
Nicole played well in her JV softball game last night. She was the designated hitter and hit a double and was later walked after fouling off 5 balls. She has 2 tournaments this weekend - one with school & the other with her Batbusters team. I will miss seeing her this weekend but know she will have fun playing & hanging out with her teammates. I am so proud of her & miss seeing her play but I am glad Pat & other family members can be there for her. Even if she doesn't say anything, Pat & I know she likes having her "people" in the stands.
Matthew had his Kumon math class yesterday & passed his test to move on to the next level. He has been working hard and we are thrilled with how far he has progressed since starting Kumon in August. He & I spent the evening visiting with my friend Melinda & her daughter Mackenzie. When they left, Matthew popped some popcorn, opened a box of milk duds and we laughed as we munched and watched the movie RV. Our friends Russell & April gave me the movie last weekend and told us we could not be friends anymore if we did not think this movie was funny. I am happy to report that we can still be friends! April - was you mom the stunt driver backing the RV out of the driveway??!!
Love you all, Karen

What a week

2008-02-15T12:56:00.003-06:00

What a week it has been for the Beaman family. On Monday, I was sitting at my desk at work, minding my own buisness when I started having contractions. The first one I felt was pretty intense so I jotted down the time but I did not think I would have any more. Unfortunately, they continued throughout the afternoon so I put a call in to my nurse. I told her I was looking for reassurance that everything was ok. She said I needed to drink a lot of water, start bedrest until I could be seen and to go to the hospital if they got worse. uggh!!!! My plans of going to see Nicole play softball Monday evening were over. They had me come in Tuesday to see if I had a UTI and to listen to the baby's heart beat. My dr was still out but one of the others reviewed my information, determined I only had a 13% chance of delivering in the next day or 2 and wanted me to continue strict bedrest and return the next day for a sonogram and appointment with my doctor.
I think waiting for my appointment on Wednesday was one of the longest waits I have endured - I desperately wanted to know what was going on inside my body. The sonographer determined the "V-ing" of my cervix had gotten wider and deeper and my cervical length went from 3.5 to 3.1. Your cervical length shortens to "0" in prepration for the baby's birth and typically does not shorten until the final part of pregnancy. Dr. Vaughan said he was not happy my cervix was continuing to change and was not happy I was having contractions (neither was I!) They only good news he really had was that my cervical length was above 2.5 and he wanted to keep it that way. So we need to get the contractions under control so they do not continue to change my cervix. He ordered a Terbutline pump which delivers medicine around the clock to slow the contractions and a home uterine montoring system and put me on strict bedrest. I am only allowed up from the bed or couch to go to the bathroom, eat and one quick shower a day. I am eating my lunch as I type this. He must have seen the panic stricken look on my face and told me as hard as 10+ weeks of bedrest sounds it beats 2 things - having your precious baby start out her life in the NICU and being a long term guest at the hospital for even stricter bedrest. Dr. V then said to me this is your last pregnancy isn't it? I guess I keep him on his toes and make him earn his money!!! He decided to send me back to the Perinatologist on Friday (today) for a cervical evaluation and I go back to see Dr. V on Monday.
Early Wednesday evening we started getting all sorts of deliverys from the home health company and the nurse showed up at 6:45 - they do not mess around. She spent the next 2+ hours explaing how to use the Terbutline pump and monitoring system. As Pat so nicely summed up my situation - it is like being in the hospital without actually being there. I have to refill the pump medicine once a day and change the tubing every few days, which requires me to stab myself in the leg (icky)! I hook my self up to the monitoring system twice a day and then send the info to the home health company via a fax like device they sent. The nurse calls twice a day, after she receives my data, to give me the results and check on me. At least I have some "jobs" to do while I am at home. Terbutline is a nasty medicine I hope none of you ever have to experience - when you first start taking it it makes you very jittery, your heart races, you have hot flashes, insomnia, headaches, etc. They (medical people) tell me these should go away after about 72 hours when my body is used to it. I hope they are right.
This morning Pat took me to the Peri. for a sonogram. He first checked the baby and said she looks good. Yes, I made him check to see if the baby was a girl - we have now had 3 different medical professionals tell us it is a girl! He measured my cervical length at 2.9 which has me freaking out a little bit - I am not happy that it shortened by .2 cm in 2 days. He seemed to think it was stabilizing and recommeneded it be checked once a week and that I continue having the Fetal Fibronectin test every other week. He said I did not need to be on hospital bedrest - yippie! He even mentioned I may be able to increase my activity level a little bit if my cervix stays the same once I am further along in this pregnancy. Both Pat & I took this as a very encouraging sign!
Dr. Vaughan said his immediate goal is to get me to 34 weeks and will do everything he can to get me there. Once we reach that milestone he will do everything to get me to 35 weeks and when I hit that mark he will try for 36 weeks. The home health nurse told us that everyday the baby stays in me means 2 less days in the NICU.
My prayer request is one I asked for before - pray my body is a gracious host to this precious little girl God has given to our family - we all love her so much already! By the way - she is really cute!
Pat has been my rock, totally supportive (except when he told my friend April he thought I was just having bad gas not contractions - ha) and a trooper throughout this ordeal. Nicole and Matthew have been great - always asking me if they can bring me anything and helping out. Wednesday evening Matthew said, "Mom, you look bored let's play a card game." Last night Nicole sat on the couch and rubbed my feet - something she has never ever done. I am blessed.

Picking a name

2008-02-12T14:30:00.000-06:00

I may be wrong but I think picking a name might just be the hardest part of parenting. Forget teaching your kids how to play nice, ride a bike, drive a car or sending them off to college - that is easy compared to picking a name!

We didn't seem to struggle picking Nicole's name but, when I think about it most of the time we don't call her Nicole. Let me see if I can list all of her many nicknames.....big face, face, baby called Nicole, Baby Nicole, BN (short for Baby Nicole), Cole, which lead to Cola, and her Aunt Linda used to call her muffin cup. I think there are more but that is all my pregnant brain can come up with at this point. Can't believe I almost forgot this one.....homerun hitler. Let me explain.....first of all you need to know that Nicole has very messy handwriting. She thought she wrote "homerun hitter" on a paper cup at a family gathering but inadvertenly forgot to cross one of the "t's". Someone else picked up her cup and asked, "who the heck is homerun hitler?" We got a big laugh at her innocent mistake.

Our name struggles really began when I was pregnant with Matthew. We thought we were having a girl and Pat & I could not agree on a name. We finally narrowed it down to 2 names and when it was time to push I nicely asked (ok...so maybe I not so nicely yelled) Pat to pick a name because I didn't want the baby being born without a name. Like any good husband in the delivery room, he did what I asked and picked a name. The joke was on me when 15 minutes later we found ourselves with "Baby Boy Beaman". We scoured the baby books for a day and a half and finally (after some urging from the birth certificate lady) decided to name our little boy Matthew. Matthew too has his share of nicknames.....Cowboy, little man which has turned into big man, Math, buddy, and his friends at school call him Matt - we are not sure who that Matt kid is.

When we found out we were having baby #3 both Pat & I agreed that we really liked the name Reagan for a girl. Little did we know that Cole would absolutely, passionately dislike this name. Since we seem to be nickname people there is also the nickname delima - I began to wonder what nickname we would come up with for Reagan and I can't think of any I really like. So back to the name picking game for us! We want a name that is cute for a baby and little girl but also sounds grown up and mature for the adult she will become.

Baby Update February 5, 2008 - Good News!

2008-02-05T14:16:00.000-06:00

Let me start off by saying thank you to all of you who have been praying for us - God heard and answered our prayers!!! I am done with "House Arrest" for the time being!
Pat & I met with the sonographer - she scanned the baby & said she was looking good. Next she checked my cervix & said the "V-ing" looked the same as it did on Friday, which is good news. Because we were in the know about my problem - she explained a little more about what was going on & how my cervix should look at this point in my pregnancy. The "V-ing" is high in my cervix where it should be nice & smooth. Anyway, we felt good about the news and went to meet with the Dr.
The Dr. had more good news for us!! My fetal fibro. test came back negative. Woo-hoo I failed!!! A negative result on this test is a good indication that I will not go into labor in the next 14 days. I passed the gestational diabeties test. I am grateful that I have been spared dealing with this particular issue - I have more than my fair share to deal with as it is. Dr. Vaughan wants to monitor me weekly with a cervical sonogram & will repeat the fetal fibro test every other week. He said I can go back to work as long as I take it easy & make time to lie down. I am not allowed to do anything strenous or exercise - this will be a hard one - lol!! He said he will most likely be sending me back to the Perinatologist in the near future.
We are just going to take things week by week at this point. Each week this little girl stays put is a blessing and we were so relieved to hear that she will not be making her debut in the next week and a half.

It's Official I have started a blog!

2008-02-04T11:27:00.000-06:00

Wow, I can't believe that I am starting a blog! I am currently pregnant with my third child and following my sister, Kim's lead, decided this would be a great way to chronicle my pregnancy. I am quite impressed with myself that I figured out to do this - it really was quite easy.

I have not had what I would call a routine pregnancy so I started my blog by posting all of the e-mail updates I previously sent to family & friends.

I am on day 4 of what my husband has termed "House Arrest". I am limited to sitting and laying down until I see the doctor tomorrow. I am praying the appointment will bring good news but I am trying to prepare myself in case it does not.

February 1, 2008 Baby Update

2008-02-04T11:19:00.000-06:00

Hi all,
I had my sonogram & Dr appt today and wanted to let you all know how it went.
I started off my appointment by drinking a 10oz flat orange soda so they could test my blood for gestational diabeties. All in all it was not too bad - I remember the drink being three times the size when I was pregnant with Nicole & Matthew! The 10 oz version was a nice improvement. I should have the results on Tuesday.

Next I had the sonogram. Little Miss weighs about 1 1/2 pounds & had a good heart rate of 146. The sugary drink hit & she was moving about & rolling all around! It was neat to feel her kicks while watching them on the little TV at the same time. The sonographer then checked my cervix & I just knew that she saw something she did not like because she got really quiet & did not tell me anything other than to get dressed & she would move me to an exam room to see Dr. Vaughan. He came in before she was done writing up her report & we were discussing my recent illness (sinus & upper respiratory infection & really nasty cough). I thought I wasn't susposed to get sick again after my Dec/Jan illness!! He checked my lungs and I was happy to hear that they were clear sounding. The sonographer knocked on the door to give the dr the report & he immediately called for the nurse. The nurse came in and told me I needed to have a Fetal Fibronectin test done & would have to undress. At this point my panic meter rose a bit & somebody really needed to tell me what was going on! Dr Vaughan came back in & explained that my cervix was "V-ing" - which meant nothing to me & probably does not to you either. Apparently it means that it is not the shape it should be & has begun to "change" which is not good when you are only 24 weeks & 3 days pregnant. He explained the Fetal Fibronectin test would show if I am going to go into labor within the next 7-14 days. We are looking for a negative result on this one - please pray that I fail this test!

I go back to the dr on Tuesday for another sonogram & visit - they should have the Fetal Fibro. test results back by then as well. He wants to see if my cervix changes over the next few days and we will go from there. I am restricted to my house until then - I can lay down or sit down but that is it - no work, shopping, cleaning or running around.

Our God is a big God who can do anything he wants so I am asking for some big prayers.....please pray for a miracle - that my cervix will go back to the shape it is suspossed to be. If that is not the case please pray that the doctor can figure out some other way to keep our little girl safe & sound inside of me for many more weeks. Please pray that I can put worry & anxiousness out of my head - I know that I will not accomplish anything with worry but it is easier said than done.

Love you all, Karen

January 15, 2007 Baby Update

2008-02-04T11:12:00.000-06:00

Hi to all,
I spent a wonderful weekend in Flordia & southern Georgia for Mama Bear's (my mom's mom) memorial service. I had a great time visiting with family I have not seen in years or at all in some cases. It was nice to look at old pictures & recall memories of the wonderful times we all spent with her. She was a truly remarkable and special woman of God. I also enjoyed spending time with all of my sisters, brother & parents. What an adventure we had!!!

I had my 22 week check up yesterday & was expecting it to be routine with nothing to report but that was not exactly the case. For whatever reason I am just not blessed with easy pregnancys - I hope this means I will be blessed with an easy baby.

The good news…… Our little girl had a strong heart beat - 140 which has been her consistant rate so far. My blood pressure is good. I am more than halfway thru & I have had a major illness so I am not due to get another one!

The not so good news……. Dr. Vaughan immediately noticed that my feet, ankles & lower legs were starting to swell (they were actually much worse on Sunday evening after flying home from Flordia). My hands are swelling too & my wedding ring is stuck on (It has always been thight but now it doesn't move). If anyone has any good tricks on removing a ring send them my way - before I lose circulation in my finger - haha! Dr. V. said there isn't much I can do about it other than drink lots of water & put my feet up. As long as my blood pressure stays low it is not a huge concern but if it goes up then it becomes more of a concern.
The second issue is something that the peri, Dr. Graham, reported to Dr. V. but not to me. Apparently he found an indication that I may have trouble with a deterorating placenta. It is based on some blood work & something he noticed on the last ultrasound. Dr. V said they will monitor it with ultrasound - my next one is on 2/1. If it looks ok at that point then they will revealuate in 4 weeks. Once I get to 30 weeks they will do an ultrasound every week to check on fetal growth & placenta functions. I am trying not to worry about it at this point but it is kinda hard not to so I just need to give it fully to God espically since nothing can really be done about it.
The third issue is the pelvic pressure I began experiencing last week - hopefully this is not TMI. Anyway, Dr. V wants to start evaluating my cervix at the next ultrasound too see if it is too short or beginning to shorten. It is not quite as bad feeling as when Matthew dropped at 28 weeks but I am only 22 weeks and we could be headed down that same path. He wants me to lay down more often. So between propping my feet up & laying down I think I will be spending considerable time delegating from the couch……pray for the kids & Pat!!!

Pray that my body will be a gracious host to this little one & that she will stay put for a few more months. I would really like to make it until at least 36 weeks (4/22) or longer. If anyone wants to change their birth date prediction - let me know. I have the list Linda put together on New Years Day.
If I can figure out the blog stuff I may create a blog like my tech savy sisters to post updates.
Love to you all, Karen

January 8, 2008 Baby Update

2008-02-04T11:08:00.000-06:00

Pat reminded me, thanks to Linda, that I did not send an update about the baby after my appointment with the Perinatologist on Friday. Dr. Graham said the baby looks good - he did not see any soft markers for Downs. Since we decided against having an amnio done, we won't know for sure if she has Downs until she is born - I forgot to ask if they will do a blood test when she is born or if it will be obvious from her physical apperance. For now we are just believing that she is perfectly healthy. The main reason for Friday's appointment was to look at the baby's heart - he said that it looked fine & he did not see any calicum deposits. He approximated her weight at 13 ounces - a little more than 3 sticks of butter (that is how we explain it to the the kids). I asked him to make sure that we were still having a girl - he chuckled but checked & said that it is still a little girl. She is breach right now with her feet sitting right on top of my bladder - I could have guessed this without the sonogram:)
I do not have to see Dr. Graham anymore unless something else comes up - but he wants me to have a sonogram at least once a month at my regular Dr's office. I am looking forward to not having a Dr's appointment every single week. I think this week will be appointment free which is a nice change after last week's 3 dr visits. I go back to my OB next Tuesday the 15th for a regular check up.
I am finally feeling better from last week's flu, sinus infection, ear infection, bronchitis & pnunmonia. I am still a bit tired & weak feeling and have some lingering congestion & coughing but am so much better than last week.

December 5, 2007 Baby Update

2008-02-04T11:05:00.000-06:00

Pat & I met with the genetic counselor & the Preinatologist (fancy name for high risk ob) yesterday and I wanted to give you all an update.
The Genetic Counselor told us the reason my risk for a Downs baby increased was because of some of the patterns in my blood work were consistent with what is seen when a mom is carrying a baby with downs…..one of the markers was above the normal range & the other was below the normal range. Anyway, she explained the only way to know for sure was with the Amnio. It has a national average risk of miscarriage of 1/300 but Dr. Graham’s risk was somewhere between 1/500 and 1/1000. We went ahead and signed the consent form for the test but, while waiting to start the sonogram, I began to have second thoughts. Dr. Graham said the baby did not have any of the visible markers of Downs, but 20-30% of Downs babies do not have markers that show up on sonograms. I think he could sense my hesitation about the amnio and told us he could not take the risk away and we needed to decide if the risk was worth the information the amnio would provide. As he continued to look at the baby he determined that the baby was not in a good position for him to even attempt the amnio. He wants to look at the baby again next Friday (12/14)…….he will look for markers again and measure everything and if we want the amnio & the baby is in a better position he will do it at that point.

Thank you for your prayers – they are greatly appreciated. Please pray that God will give us peace with whatever we decide….. God is so good & I thank him that we did not have to make a final decision yesterday as it was made for us. The online devotional I read yesterday was all about God’s peace & gave me 2 great versus to hang onto: Phil 4:6 (Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) & Matthew 11:28-30 ([Jesus said] "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.")

***Dr. Graham was 85% sure that we are having a little girl. Keep in mind that there was an 85% chance that Matthew was a girl. The baby was being shy so he did not get a very clear view – the view he had was from behind looking up. We will get another look next Friday.*****

November 27, 2007 Baby Update

2008-02-04T11:01:00.000-06:00

I got some troubling news from my doctor yesterday – my genetic test results showed that I am at an increased risk (higher than normal for my age group which is already high in the first place) for having a baby with a chromosome issue such as Downs. I have to go to a Perinatologist & Genetic Counselor next Tuesday for further in depth testing & possibly an amnio. I was hoping to avoid the amnio but it seems that I will most likely need to have it done. My nurse told me that the Genetic Counselor would want to know details about any family history of birth issues that have occurred in either of our families.

Please pray that our baby is perfectly healthy & if not that God prepares Pat, the kids & I to handle whatever comes our way. By the way, we are not telling the kids about this – no need to alarm them at this point since we do not really know anything yet.

I am hoping that we have a better idea of things next Tuesday but it may be 2 or more weeks after that before we know anything definitive. For now Pat & I are choosing to believe that the baby is 100% fine.

Love ya all - Karen